Thursday, April 28, 2016

So far this week...

This week has been a week of celebrations and with that comes FOOD!
I have so been capitalizing on it, though.  Eating bad things just happens to be one of my most favourite things apparently!  I wish it was having nice thighs and calves that can zip up into boots, but there you go.
There's a retirement happening here at work and as she's been here for quite some time and is probably the sweetest, most nicest lady ever, everyone wants to celebrate!  
Monday, I made myself get a work out in because I knew what was coming for the week.  Instead of the usual Max30 I've been doing, I went with a full-on original Insanity workout.  It was definitely hard and a tougher pill to swallow at 30 minutes in and it wasn't over like Max30 would have been.

But check out my workout buddy.  She was having a bath when I started and she came roaring out of her room after Daddy got her all dried up in this outfit ready to go.  She basically takes what Shaun T. (pronounced "Shaunty by her) says as gospel.  If Shaun T. says water break, you best believe she's gonna grab her water bottle!  
She was actually all kinds of amazing though.  When she wasn't trying to copy the moves, she was doing her own running on the spot version or her own push-ups and then shouting "Go, Mama!" or "Come on, Mama!" whenever she noticed me slowing down or stopping.  I can't even describe to you how big she makes my heart swell. For serious!
Tuesday evening, we went out for a dinner for her and there was pasta and alcohol.  

CONFESSION: I didn't even try to behave, y'all.  I picked out the carbonara while I was still at work after agonizing over the menu for most of the day (and you know, working, obviously!)
Wednesday wasn't really a celebration, but there was still "free" food!  It was our annual union meeting at work and one of the big incentives to get our butts over there is a "free" lunch.  I keep air quoting it because technically we paid for our meal ourselves out of our dues, so you best bet I chose the chicken and roast beef!  

I wasn't very clear on some of the topics...but can I tell you how "free" food that I technically paid for wasn't really worth it?
Trying to understand gibberish about money and finances is exhausting, but look what met me when I got home!

I may be biased when I say that I think she's the cutest little hobo I've ever seen!  

No frisbee tonight because we're in between seasons.  My friend Melissa is coming back after birthing her second human, so she wanted to get a run in to prepare herself for the running that is ultimate.  Too bad for her, I haven't run that much at all the last few months and none of them were outside so I was also a little nervous about it.  She had mentioned doing Couch to 5K to get back into it and I took her literally and did day one. *LOL* But it's an ego boost when you finish it and feel like it was super easy, right?  Yeah, we weren't even really sweating and probably only out of breath because we were gossiping so much.
Thursday (today) is the end of season social for the sports league I'm part of and as my Wednesday team picked up a sweet first place finish (Sunday's team came in last - with almost the same members of the team as Wednesdays LOL) I'm definitely looking forward to celebrating!  In the almost five years I've been playing with the Disc Pigs, this is the first time we haven't placed in dead last or 3rd!  
CONFESSION: I know I could try to be good here since this week has already been so all over the place food-wise, but I'd already decided last week that I was getting chicken wings and a drink :S  I'll be good next week?
Friday (tomorrow) is my co-worker's last day and the final celebration at work - this time for the whole department.  There will be cake and she's also planning on bringing in pulled chicken sandwiches and other treats.  GAH!!!  
It really is getting to the point where I feel like I've indulged too much where I want to eat cleaner so hopefully that feeling will stay with me into next week when Monday comes and it's time to re-focus.  The scale hasn't moved too much, I've been hovering between a high 171 and this morning was 173, but I shouldn't let that make me complacent for sure.  It's not a sign that I can eat like crap and not have it affect the scale because we all know that that will sneak up on me again!
I'll finish with a reminder to myself that yesterday I zipped up my Running Room jacket and I was so happy because when I tried to do the same in December, I couldn't even bring the ends of the zippers together around my midsection to even try to zip it up.  Small, baby steps.  Trust the process.  CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
...but tonight, chicken wings.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Coffee Date: The Thing About Grief

There used to be a few blogs that I followed that regularly did Coffee Date posts or whatnot and I've been wanting to do one forever but never really finished or scrapped it because I didn't have anything to talk about *LOL*  Actually, if I look back, I think I was able to do one or two during mat leave? 
Aaaanywho.  If we were having coffee today, I would probably have burst into our meeting place frenzied and late.  Not for any special reason, but just because I've been waking up about 15 - 20 minutes before it's time for me to leave and not leaving myself any time to do anything other than splash water on my face and brush my teeth and go. #worldsokayestadult

I would tell you that, even though you probably already know or could have guessed, this past week has felt pretty long and draining.  Different from the usual long and draining weeks due to work deadlines and drama, every day parenting and other life-in-general things.  But from having regular life interrupted due to a life interrupted.  
We would probably take a break for a second when the server comes up to take our orders and I would order a giant iced coffee without cutting out the sugar because I'm currently being bad with my food choices and I'm convinced that I won't make it through the afternoon without it (even though later on after midnight I'll be wide awake and regretting it.)
I would resume the conversation by letting you know that around 2 am, Bart came home from a night-shift last Wednesday and woke me up to tell me that he had just found out that his dad passed away.  Not at all what I was expecting him to tell me when he gently shook me and told me he had bad news since the bad news that he usually comes home to tell me are things like him being sent two hours out of town for work or him being asked to work the entire weekend, etc.  That seems like a long sentence.  Since I just acknowledged it, I'll just leave it as is instead of trying to figure out where to break it up.
You would probably ask what happened and I'd tell you a bunch of different things that probably don't make sense because I'm jumping all over the place.  It's funny how it seems - perhaps with just this particular situation, how much of a contradiction it all is at times.  It was suddenly, but not really.  A surprise, but not really.  Unexpected, but not really.  I guess those last two or sort of the same.  How life stops but has to keep on going.


I would tell you in the days that followed that there was a lot of things to get done and so many people to talk to - many of which my husband and/or his mama hadn't spoken to in a while.  I would tell you how we were talking to my one nephew who hasn't experienced a death of any sort, let alone in his family, and he was saying how nervous he was about going to the viewing because he didn't know how to act or what to say or what to do. And I would tell you how my husband reassured him by telling him that it was okay because nobody knows how to act, what to say or what to do in this situation.  The point is just to be present, I guess.  
After the arrangements were made, there wasn't really much more to do other than wait.  The church was unavailable the next few days so the service got pushed back a day and it was just another day in limbo so to speak.  An extra couple of days to make any other arrangements or take care of any loose ends in the service, but otherwise, not much else to do. 
I would tell you that once I had heard about what happened, I cleared our schedule for the weekend immediately because I anticipated there would be much to do.  But in reality, once everything was scheduled, it was also too much to not have anything to do.  I would tell you that Bart insisted that we try to just keep going with whatever we had planned if it was reasonable to do so.  So on Saturday, we went to my nieces First Communion and watched as she continued on her own little path of faith.  We watched proudly as she stood up to do one of the readings and how excited she was to finally be able to go and line up at communion to fully participate in the mass.

We invited Bart's mama to come with us and I think she appreciated the company and the distraction.  After the reception, we also went to watch my other niece perform in her dance competition.  I would mention to you how there's just something so...comforting?  Uplifting? Reassuring? about watching young people LIVE.  I think it was also in some way a good reminder that Tom got to live too.  I would reaffirm this by tying it back to all the photos we looked over the last few days when preparing Tom's slideshow.  There were so many photos of his life throughout the years.  I think Bart got to see that his dad got to live a long life and that it was filled with a lot of the things he loved.



I would also mention that of course I know that his life and his life with his family probably wasn't all sunshine and roses and I'm sure they all have their own stories and versions of life over the years, but I hope that all the good memories outweigh anything else.

I would "wrap up" the sad part about this coffee date and mention how much of a joy and a blessing Ava was throughout all of this.  Being as young as she is, she didn't really comprehend what was going on and continued to live her two-year old life the way she saw fit.  She "helped" go through photos of Grampy and totally chose a photo of him holding a giant crab to fixate on.  If you asked her about Grampy, she would tell you that "Grampy has a giant crab in heaven."  During the viewing, she was a regular by her Grampy, climbing up onto the kneeler to chat away at him and occasionally turning to whomever was in the room to shush them to be quiet because "Grampy is sleeping" because "he's so tired."  Also making Grammy laugh when she admiringly patted the silk lining of his resting place and solemnly declared that "Grampy has a nice bed!"
I would mention that of course after this, and perhaps other people do this as well after a time like this, that Bart and I are left contemplating our mortality and how fast life can feel like it's moving.  I think we are coming away with a renewed commitment to our family and dedicating time to spending with each other making memories like Grampy did.  
I would realized how much I've been hogging the conversation during our coffee date and feel instantly contrite but also sincerely thank you so much for listening.  As with life, our conversation will now naturally continue away from this sad portion and explore other areas.  I ask how you've been and settle in with my contraband iced coffee and enjoy my time with you.
What would you tell me?

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Four Five Seconds

Do you know a sure-fire way to get sad and discouraged really fast? (Like in four or five seconds fast?  See what I did there?)
Take a walk down memory lane and re-read your old blog posts and see that your stats/measurements are telling you that you're bigger now than you were four years ago.

I keep trying to tell myself that I did this to myself but I guess that doesn't really help in the long run.  What's done is done and berating myself won't inspire me any more than it will actually make me feel sad and just want to eat my feelings.
Still doesn't stop me from being disappointed in myself in that I lost sight of my goals and allowed myself to make so many excuses that I pretty much went all the way back to square one.  Seriously, it hurts.

Ah, well!  As you can see, I have since moved on from Square One Two Point Oh and I've been analyzing my current stats compared to my first set of "finishing" stats in 2013.  To be clear, the finishing stats is when I finished the Insanity program.  My measurements are actually very, very close to my first set of finishing stats and I was wondering how the measurements could be the same and the weight difference could be different in that I weigh more than when I did the last time.  It's a much bigger difference when I compare my two sets of starting measurements.  These are also pretty close to being the same, but I'm 12 lbs lighter.  At first I was like, how can I be lighter but measure the same?  Is it something to do with muscle?  I have no idea, actually *LOL* but I feel like it might have something to do with it when I compare that the first time I lost weight, it looks like I lost  33 lbs in three months and then this go around, over the same course of three months, I've only lost 15.4.  Actually, since I know that my actual start date was January 4th and my starting weight was 192.8, I know I've actually lost 21 lbs, which is still less than before, but yet, my measurements are almost the same.  Does THAT have something to do with muscle?

When I first started trying to lose weight, with the exception of Insanity's strength moves, I was almost 100% about cardio.  I feel like this go around, I knew about trying to build more muscle to burn more calories which helps shape the body better (minus that last two weeks where I cut out strength training for cardio for the weight-loss challenge and we all know how that went!)  I'd like to hope that maybe even though I got a little lost along the way and gained back the weight, perhaps maybe I'm still stronger than I was before and so I haven't totally gone back to ground zero.  I'd like to also remind myself that I did birth a human in between these two sets of measurements so I'm also hoping that perhaps my hip measurements look wider because childbirth.  Clinging at anything, aren't I?

Okay.  So that's that.  I've allowed myself to look back and I allowed a few little heart flops of disappointment.  But that's it.  Let's focus on now and the changes I've been making now.

Guess what today is?!

ULTIMATE WEDNESDAY!




It's actually getting kind of ridiculous how much I love Wednesdays.

I started writing the first part of this post earlier today on my lunch break at work and then had to leave it.  So I'm just finishing up now that I'm home from the game and totally wired for the next hour or two on pre-workout and endorphins.

So the milestone for today is that I decided I would wear shorts to today's game.


It turned out fine, actually.  Granted, I did use the gel.  But it's so much better to run around that dome in shorts than compression crops.  It just gets so hot and we played a "tough" team today.

I don't mean to be rude when I put tough in air quotes.  We're a pretty evenly matched team, but what I mean is that every time we've played against each other, it's been super tense because we don't like each other.  The captains definitely don't get along and it definitely shows on the field.  Which is always a bit odd because the biggest thing about playing in this league is the sportsmanship of it all.  Our team always wins for the highest spirit points (no, that doesn't always translate to the losers!) so it just throws me off that this team are made up of a collective bunch of #douchecanoes.  During our first game, we lost a whole chunk of time because the other captain tried to explain the rules of the game to our captain.  Which would have been fine if it were me because we all know I'm sketchy about the rules, but our captain happens to be one of the founding members of the entire league.  And so when she told him that he was wrong and explained it, he wouldn't back down and kept insisting that he was right.  Which was also odd because as I don't generally know a lot of the rules, even I knew he was wrong.  Needless to say, they marked us down in spirit points for "knowledge of the game" which is laughable if it isn't downright ridiculous.

I was pretty fine with them personally since I stay out of those types of arguments because what the heck do I know, but I scored a point today and ran in hard enough that after I caught it, I turned around in my momentum and was carrying the disc with me to drop it at the line and my defender was all like, "just drop it after you catch it."  Girlfriend.  You don't need to explain what I need to do after I leave you in the dust.  But I must have clearly needed to be educated because she was wearing frisbee gloves and I'm lame and just caught it with my bare hands.  I just had to laugh a bit, but I for sure made it my mission to go harder after her just because.  Honestly though.  I've been frustrated against a team before and especially against a girl I'm defending, but I've never felt the need to say anything at all besides positive things because I'm aware that that's the spirit of the game.  There's been plenty of times (seriously, PLENTY) where I've been scored on and I've almost always been able to say "nice point" (even if sometimes it's preceded by a giant F-bomb).  Meh.



I would have really liked to have smoked them more, but we tired out a bit near the end and they were able to rally.

I think I'll call my play today even.  I felt like I had some wicked plays - I got a few good D's (a few of them against that girl), scored two points and one assist.  But on the other hand, I also had some pretty cringe-worthy moments.  Like when I was running to the disc and thought it was going to get passed to me, but then for some reason I thought the pass was to someone else, so I ended up just kind of staring at it go over his head until it landed at my feet.  Insert another F-bomb there and the me hearing the captain shout, "Cat! What are you doing?" and all I could do was shake my head and be like, "I have no idea."

BUT!  After repeatedly talking about wanting to feel more confident on the field and less like I'm running around not knowing what the heck I'm doing (minus that super awesome episode I just mentioned), I felt better about how I played compared to how I've finished off games before.  I feel like I actually contributed to this win as opposed to just showing up and giving a girl a break as her sub.  Do I feel like I could have played better?  Of course, I think I'll always feel like I could have done just a little bit more, but I hope that will help keep me pushing to be better.

CONFESSION:  I've totally been watching a bunch of Ultimate games and videos on YouTube.  A few actual MLU games and a few "Bro Tips" tutorials from Brodie Smith (who may I point out has liked several of my ultimate posts on IG).  I'm hoping that by constantly watching, I'll be able to pick up some tips or just absorb skills through visualization, but I'm mainly also watching the games to be able to read plays and players on the field.  Like I said before, I most want to improve on feeling like I don't know what I'm doing on the field or where I'm supposed to be and I'm hoping that watching other teams and seeing how they move together will help.

While I'm not saying it did any miracles, I still feel like it helped out.  One of the things I took away from watching the MLU games (I spend most of the time watching with my mouth open because my jaw keeps dropping at the plays) is to never give up on the disc until it literally hits the ground.  There were so many plays where I thought it would be a turnover but it would always end up being a recover or a point.  Like when you're going for the disc and you've got your man on you, just because they D it doesn't mean that it's over.  I saw that until it hits the ground, players would stay with it, stay looking out and when they did it, they would end up catching it or recovering the disc for a point, etc.

That actually happened today, actually!  Unfortunately, not for us.  Kev made this awesome D in the endzone, but unfortunately, instead of catching it, he smacked at it which is what I would normally do too and it happened that after he smacked it for the D, the guy in the endzone still ended up catching it.  #nicepassKev

And also, unfortunately for me, I forgot this lesson while on the field.  I totally just had a dumb moment.  We had possession and there was a turnover and for some reason, I forgot this and I started walking off the field to sub and damn if the girl I was defending didn't score a point off of me because of that.  But seriously.  WHO DOES THAT?!  Needless to say, I was SUPER mad at myself for that.

Aaaah well!  With that said, it looks like we may be in 2nd place and heading into the last game of the playoffs to play the number one team - which is the only team we've lost to in the entire season (to be fair, we were totally winning against them in the first half and we had some players missing.  Unfortunately, so did they but they ended up showing up in the second half to give them fresh legs and we tired out fast in the second half).

I'll actually be really sad to see the indoor season come to an end.  Come May, we'll be moving outdoors and the field is just so much bigger which means probably more running than I want to do *LOL*  But that's what I usually say about the transition.  I love whatever season I'm in until it's time to switch over.  Once I've gotten used to outdoors, I won't want to go back to indoors because the field is smaller which means I have to run around more and faster.  Aaaah, #grassisalwaysgreener mentality.



Anywho, smug winning smiles!  Probably more from me than Allie.  She's actually very nice and sweet.  I just wanted to beat them as much as possible.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Impromptu Rest Day

Got home from work with Day 5 on my mind (CONFESSION: dreading it) but after all was said and done today, cooking dinner, feeding Ava, bath night, spending quality time and then bed time, somewhere during that time is decided I was taking a rest day.  

I was tired and I was starting to feel sore and I just decided I wanted a rest day.

But I feel guilty about it.  I feel like I should still be doing something and there's also a voice in the back of my mind that is saying if I'd just done it earlier, the half hour would be over and I wouldn't be left thinking about it.  



To be slightly fair to myself, Tara and I did go to the track at lunch today.  We did half an hour and alternated walking and running laps.  It loosened up my arms and my shoulders and it felt good to have gotten out instead of wandering around aimlessly at lunch.  

I still have half a mind to set up all the weights just to do a little bit more and feel less guilty.  But I'm going to stand by my rest day decision.  Tomorrow is frisbee night and I've got Thursday, Friday and Saturday to get in two more workouts before frisbee again on Sunday.  

It's not even like I cheated on any meals or ate excessively (not counting my eating half of Monica's Nutella filled cookie!). 

Does watching lifting videos count for anything? LOL

Monday, April 11, 2016

Insanity Max30: Day 4 - Tabata Strength {Take 2}



Monday after a weekend of cheat meals = withdrawal

Still eating Easter chocolates and feeling HUNGRYYY!

Maxed out at 5:19 doing what else? Burpee lunges.  

Workout started late because I couldn't get going (because I didn't want to).

Still tried to do regular moves first before moderating and then maxing out.  I feel like there was a balance of pushing myself and then just trying to make it through.  

Still really having a hard time with tricep push-ups. It just feels so much harder to work back upper body strength than it did the last time.  Also had a lot of trouble with the tricep dips.  But will continue working on it. I am looking forward to seeing some improvement!

I just wanna be stronger already!



Set up my "new to me" barbell and my baby plates (5 lbs each side) and put on some barbell workouts on YouTube to try to learn and copy from.  Tried it out for a bit to familiarize.  Every move and everything I'm doing seems foreign and wrong.  I'm also scared I'll injure myself.

And that was the day!  Ate the rest of the Easter chocolates.  If they're gone that means I have nothing left to think about, right?! 


Sunday, April 10, 2016

Ultimate Look Back

You guys.
I love ultimate frisbee so hard.
It's actually kind of crazy how much I love it, considering how I wanted to quit before I had even finished playing my first game.
I signed up with Melissa who was the one who had wanted to play in the first place.  I think she wanted to go out of her comfort zone and make new friends while doing something active, and I just signed up with her to make sure she didn't make friends with anyone she liked more than me.  #imnotagoodfriendsharer  I guess I should also mention that I had just started trying to actively do my first lifestyle change and losing weight, etc. so that was also a factor in my decision to join.  But mostly it was about friendblocking my BFF.
So we showed up and it was basically us getting thrown into a game and being told to RUN.  And then some guy legit yelling at us for not running enough and to get off the field if we weren't going to run hard.  I'm thinking of you, Chris, you jerkface.

And yet, we still kept coming back.  Every week, trying to run a little bit harder or longer (or at all, in my case), trying not to die (this was always a high priority for me).  Then as the weeks progressed, getting to loftier goals like trying to be open enough to have someone consider throwing the disc to us.  And then actually trying to catch the disc, etc.  It was a very long time before I tried to do anything other than just be an extra body out on the field.  I did execute a lot of awesome evasive maneuvering, like zigging and zagging and running around in actual, literal circles making whoever was defending me follow me around.  This lasted not that long until someone explained to me that I was "picking" by doing my zig zag patterns across the field and getting in generally everyone's (my team included) way.

We made it through the indoor season and actually signed up for another - which was pretty much like starting over as it was outdoor and had its own brand of suffering.  But there I am up there, hiding in the back, trying to shrink into the background foliage.  My biggest goal really was just to be able to keep up.  I didn't try to go for the disc, I wasn't getting open very often, so my biggest focus on was just trying to not get scored on an umpteen amount of times or just literally getting left behind in the dust.

This was taken in October of 2012, about a year after I had started actively making that lifestyle change.  I had already started losing weight which was probably why I consented to being in this picture.  I was getting a little bit more confident on the field and I think at this point, had probably scored a point or two.  Whether on purpose or by accident, who knows.  
It was also right after this time that the weight really started coming off.  Mel was getting married that coming March and I had sworn I wasn't going to be the really large bridesmaid that first draws the eye - this came when they didn't have a dress for me to try when we all went because the samples they had in the store didn't fit.  Reality check moment right there.  "Fun" fact: That March, it actually got to the point where I had the opposite sort of problem.  I had lost so much weight that the dress that I had actually fell off of me and I'd lost so much that it couldn't even be taken in without a huge amount of work.  I left it pretty last minute, but it worked out when I was able to just get one of the sample dresses from the store as my replacement dress instead of having to alter the one I had.  

And then BOOM! Six months later....
I like how I make it sound like I just woke up after that photo was take and was like, oh, look, I'm skinny now!  Like I've mentioned before, I swear getting skinny was a bonus.  This picture doesn't show how much stronger I was than the girl who was trying not to barf on her first game.  I think it does kind of show how much more confident I was with the game and my ability to play it.  I still actually remember this game.  When we first started playing, there was this team that was REALLY good.  And on this team, there was this girl who was REALLY good.  She was so good and so confident in how good she was that she actually came up to Mel and I to tell us we were practicing our flicks wrong (it's true, we were).  She showed us how and we were in semi awe of her and then a little begrudgingly so when we finally played their team and she schooled us without breaking any sort of sweat.  This was the game that I remember having to defend her and actually being able to do so.  I was defending the end zone from her and we both went after the disc and I kept up enough that I was able to "D" it, so to speak.  We took a nasty tumble from colliding into each other, but it was AWESOME.  I remember that because I still remember how it felt.

Of course, with that confidence came the competitiveness.  Clearly I don't like to lose, friends.  I can't remember for certain, but it sure looks like I'm telling someone off *LOL*  But in a less offending way that we didn't lose any spirit points.  My team always wins the spirit award - and sometimes we win games too!  It was during this season that I felt confident enough to captain the team for the indoor intermediate league since the usual captains couldn't do it.  I'd like to say that I captained that team into third place in the league that season (and another season after! If I sound totally smug it's because I totally am typing all smug-like LOL)
Then came Miss Ava and it was almost back to square one.
I can't even begin to describe how frustrating it was to know (or think) that your body can do something and then not have your body respond and do it.  I captained one more season while pregnant and kept in touch by going to games and watching from the sidelines.  I would watch the players go and know that I could do what they were doing (CONFESSION: okay, there were times that perhaps I would think I could do it better #suchadouche) and couldn't wait to get back on the field myself.  After Ava came, it was basically just a countdown of when I could play again and pick up where I left off.  
Ava was born near the end of January and Mel and I came back from the spring season in March - I think it was pretty much exactly our six-week mark.  Having our babies on the same day helped out with timing us both to come back at the same time *LOL*
If I remember correctly, Mel and I both took a spill in our first game back.  It was like, in my head, I could see what I wanted to do and then went ahead and tried to do it and my body was like, whoa, wait, what?  I know for myself, I tried to make a run to the endzone that pre-baby Cat could (okay, fine, maybe would have) made and I was nowhere near it and I was so off-balance with this new post-baby body that I totally just slid into a faceplant.  Ego hurt more than my palms from the turf burn.
Even though of course I wasn't back exactly where I started out, it sure felt that way and it was really hard for me to play against teams and against girls that I felt like I was better than a year ago and now couldn't even keep up with.  Discouraging to say the least and it definitely didn't help that I slid right back into my pre-lifestyle change habits and started packing the pounds on again.  So even when I started getting back into the groove, I wasn't helping myself get any better by getting heavier and heavier and not being able to run or move with the added weight.

October 2015 and it's like the same photo from my first team shot.  But with more confidence apparently?
This post got way longer than I intended it to be *LOL*
We lost our game today, quite spectacularly, I might add, but I left it feeling like it was feeling better.  We played a really good team and there were no slouches in their girls.  I finished off the game feeling happy that I was relatively able to keep up with my girls.   I'm also down 22 lbs since January, so I think that's probably a big factor.  Right now, I'm working on really trying to build my confidence and going after the disc a bit more since I've been back.  I'm really looking forward to the time where I can be on the field and not running around wondering what the heck I'm supposed to be doing.

And now the countdown is on 'til Wednesday league!  I love being able to play twice a week and the Wednesday league is supposed to be a more intermediate league which means better teams and while I still hate feeling like the weakest link, I also think it helps up my game to play with players that I know are really good.  I feel like it pushes me to try more and I think it shows in that we are currently in 2nd place in Wednesday league and 6th in Sunday league *LOL*

I also pulled a Melissa in a way where I am trying to step outside of my comfort zone.  Registration for Spring/Summer league has closed and I had to let them know that I couldn't join the Sunday league as it will be trailer time soon and who knows what weekends we'll be around.  I was sad to not be able to play the twice a week games and I found a couple other adult sports leagues that offer Ultimate on different days and thought, hey!  I can play on another weekday.

So I signed up with another league and I know NO ONE.  I'm actually kind of terrified that I'll end up on a super amazing team and I'll be the newbie that gets put in the corner because there has to be two girls on the field at all times.  When I registered and it asked for any previous experience, I did say I was one small step up from newbie.  I'd rather they be pleasantly surprised that I can play a tiny bit rather than really disappointed that I suck more than they expected.

I've already second-guessed this move a bunch of times and have almost cancelled my registration a few times.  It's weird how nervous and shy I get around strangers.  And also, because I found another league that offers a youth ultimate frisbee clinic and they go as young as 2 years old and I really want to sign Ava up and run around with her.  The youth league plays on Mondays which is also the day that I signed up to play in May as well.  So now I'm trying to figure out if it wouldn't be too much to sign her up to play on Mondays and I'll play Wednesday and Thursday.

I'll figure that out closer to, but in the meantime! YAY FRISBEE!

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Insanity Max30: Day 3 - Sweat Intervals {Take 2}

It's funny how one of the main selling points of Max30 is that you can get your workout in in just 30 minutes, but when I do the workout, it feels like I'm suffering for hours on end.  I have no idea how I ever got through the original Insanity series when the shortest workout was about 45 minutes and up.
This workout felt harder to get started and harder to get through just because of the break.  I'm take a relaxed approach at completing this program, but after I just explain that I restarted it from all the breaks I took and workouts I missed, I already have a three day gap.
Wednesdays are Ultimate Frisbee days, so I never do an Insanity workout that day anyway.  However, I had a cake order this week and ended up missing Thursday and Friday.  I can't blame it all on the cake, because technically I could have worked out on Friday, but Lazy Cat had already come out to play.

A photo posted by Cat (@si11yskitt1es) on

Had to have this baby ready for Friday, so everything had to get done Thursday evening.  The thing about cakes is that it feels like there's so much time to get everything done, but then really only a small margin to do it.  I had the cakes baked, but in order to make sure it's as fresh as possible, I don't decorate until the night before I have to deliver it - especially since the day of delivery isn't usually the day of the party. 

Anywho, no complaints and no excuses, but for Thursday, all my time went into hanging out with the munchkin before bedtime and then getting Ariel and her cake fin ready to go.  I don't even feel all regresty about not getting the workout in, that cake is my favourite I've made to date!

Friday was delivery day after work and by the time we got home and got the kiddo to bed, I was pretty much done.  Crashed on the couch with no hope (or intent, let's be honest here) of lacing up in the name of fitness.  I ate air popped popcorn drenched in butter instead! #youwinsomeyoulosesome

So come Saturday, I already knew it was going to be a struggle.  Got the munchkin down for her nap and was kind of hoping that she'd take her sweet time.  You know this girl didn't want to work out when she's hoping her kid won't nap! *LOL*

Everything was hard.  I was sweaty and weak and whiny and tired.  I took a lot of "pull up the pants" pauses and even then, barely made it through the warm-up.  I don't have a lot of goals in life, but making it through the warmup without maxing out is one of them.  But then squat lunges came along and it was over.   Besides the fact that my right foot is still bothering me with that arch/heel pain, squatting and lunging on their own are hard enough.  One regular set and I was done-zo.  I didn't even - or couldn't even, more like it! - cycle it down to moderate movement.  Just maxed out and took my sweet time writing it out on the board so I could recover.



Don't be fooled.  That is my surprised I made it through without throwing up on myself look. 

As hard as it felt, I'd like to think that I tried as hard as I could to push even just a little bit.  I'd also like to hope that today's workout was still better than the first time I did this workout.  I'm still nowhere near proper push-up territory yet.  But the tricep push-ups are coming.  I can bend my elbows a little bit! 



I proceeded the workout by staying on my feet for 3+ hours proctoring an exam and then I used all that to justify going out for a dill pickle caesar and a cheddar bacon burger and it was amazing. #noregrets

Monday, April 4, 2016

Insanity Max30: Day 1 - Cardio Challenge {Take 2}

I had started Max30 sometime after my birthday and it was also when the weight-loss challenge started.  I LOVE me some Insanity (the original) and it really helped get me not just skinnier the last time I lost weight, but STRONGER.  Honestly, I was more in love with being stronger than I was at being skinnier.  I was so super proud of being able to do "real" push-ups and I credit a lot of that to Insanity.  #pushupjacks4life
Anywho, as the weight-loss challenge went, I got competitive and cut back on Max30 because the scale had stopped moving and I wondered if it was because I was building muscle.  I switched to just cardio only and forewent (is that a word? what's the past tense for forego?) gaining muscle and was rewarded by not winning the challenge and not having built any mucle *LOL*
In any case, I'm pretty sure I was about a week out from finishing the program, however, because I skipped/missed days for frisbee and running, I just figured it would be easier to start over then to try to pick up where I left off.  So tonight was back to Day 1 with Cardio Challenge!

I swear, I stared at this screen for about 45 minutes before I could finally bring myself to press play.  It just looped over and over again and I continued to play Candy Crush until it got late enough that I finally figured I really had to go or get off the pot.

It's funny how things always go.  Before getting started, I don't want to start.  I can't bring myself to start.  It's agony getting my shoes on knowing that I'll have to get moving and things will burn and hurt.  Then after it's over I feel amazing and can't get over how proud I am of doing the workout and putting the work in (and hopefully having pushed myself).  I love me a post-workout sweaty selfie!  The more sweat, the better!
I still went with the moderator track this workout.  I wasn't under any illusion that I could just jump in and go with the gang.  But I did tell myself that I would always start with trying the regular move before cycling down to moderated movements before maxing out.  Also with this workout and hopefully for all the rest of the workouts, I didn't down any pre-workout.  I figure if I get through the workouts without and additional help, it will be better for me in the long run, right?
I maxed out at 11:20 but I can't remember what the move was.  I'll probably have to start trying to keep track of that so I know where I need to try to push past next time. 
When the weight-loss challenge was over and I took a break from running - also had to miss a day of frisbee - the rest helped my plantar fasciitis calm down (if that's even what it is that I'm feeling).  I felt it flare up again as I was doing the first few moves - a lot of them was different movements that had jacks for the base.  I found that it helped if I didn't open my jack so wide.  BWAHAHA, that's the funniest sentence.  But whatever the case, when I was jumping out into the jack (as opposed to stepping out like the moderator), I definitely felt the twinges and it stayed with me for the rest of the workout.  I finally had to stop the jumping jacks when we got to the medicine ball twist and went the moderated route.  To compromise and to help keep my heart rate up, I took an actual medicine ball (8 lb) and used it.
30 long minutes later and the workout was done close to 10 pm.  
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