Wednesday, July 15, 2015

I'm a Benjamin Button...

...albeit Asian and female, though now that I've Wiki'd Benjamin Button, I can kind of see how I'm not at all like Benjamin Button.
In the jumble that is my mind, I guess I'm trying to compare my journey to how Benjamin Button aged the wrong way.
I kind of think of me in three versions: 
  1. The me who was 200+ lbs and then lost weight
  2. The me who was pregnant
  3. The me who is no longer pregnant
Now, it's version three of me that I'm applying the Benjamin Button comparison to because it's pretty much the complete opposite of Cat 1.0.  In full, version three is actually:

  1. The me who is no longer pregnant and slowly getting back up to 200+ lbs
Sadly, this also applies to my running:

  1. The me who couldn't run 60 seconds
  2. The me who was really close to breaking into the sub 30 min 5K
  3. The me who takes walk breaks during a 5K

It's been almost a year and a half since Ava was born so I guess I can no longer keep seeing myself in the post-partum phase.  Time has totally flashed by and during that time, I've kind of half-heartedly been looking for the girl who wanted to implement this whole lifestyle change.

What prompted all this semi-wonky introspection and very inaccurate comparisons against a movie I haven't actually seen was that today is Wednesday which means that earlier this evening, I was at Ultimate Frisbee.  Actually, it started last week and this week cemented it.

Last week, Melissa and I were running the field as the female cutters and on the other team, the two other girls on defence did the ol' switcharoo.  Now, there are different kinds of switcharoos where if you were defending someone and your girl gets away from you and you yell switch so that someone else who is closer can cover.  But that wasn't the kind of switcharoo that happened.  There's also the kind where you switch with the other person because there's a mismatch.  Since we were on offense, we were able to choose who we were going to defend and then play began.  Halfway through the play, one of the girls from the other team asked her partner if she wanted to switch and the girl who ended up switching to me gasped out a very loud and grateful "oh, THANK YOU!"  Which basically means that she was so grateful to the other girl because she was out of breath from covering my partner that by switching to me, she can effectively take a break or catch a breather.  

I swear I'm not being sensitive!  This is generally a strategy:

Basically, I am #4's wet dream

This week, everyone was pretty much just running circles around me.  I'm not going to try to blame it on allergies, but I was literally WHEEZING up and down the field, which makes me so sad because not even going back to pre-pregnancy games, I wasn't this bad a few months ago.

So there it is.  If it were Transformation Tuesday, I would post my Benjamin Button of Transformations but it's not and let's be honest, I don't really want to.  

But it's out now.  I've admitted it to myself and in almost the same breath, the whole "world."

I'm not sure how to find that version of the girl who was focused and committed to her lifestyle change, but I am putting out there that I am no longer half-heartedly looking for her, I am actively stalking her.  Like #4...

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