Saturday, November 29, 2014

This Runner's "LIST"

Do you ever notice the weirdly random thoughts you can get during a long run?  It's like my mind is grappling to think about anything at all to distract the fact that my body is still running when it clearly wants to stop.

During one of the longer runs I had this week, I had to step off the path to get around a slow walker who was hunched over their cellphone and it occurred to me that during this time of year, Santa is probably double-checking his list.  You know the one.  I figured if he gets a list, I could have one too!

Here's who is on this runner's "Naughty" list:

  • People standing around in groups on the sidewalk waiting for a bus and NO ONE moves to let the runner through
  • People who ask me why I pay money to run races when I could just run for free any time
  • People who ask me why I need another pair of running shoes
  • The guy walking in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk 
  • The couple who walks their dog off-leash - from one dog owner to another. No.
  • That girl running at night with no reflective gear and both earphones in. C'mon, now!
  • That guy who passes me walking...while I'm running. 
  • Ducks
  • That lady who picks the treadmill RIGHT BESIDE mine when there are 15 other free ones
  • That same lady who is clearly trying to race me or outrun me (Boom. I won.)
  • People who ask me why I don't just run faster (sorry, grandma, that's you!)
  • That guy who almost hit me with his pickup truck while I was wearing all my reflective and LED gear
  • That person who totally didn't wipe down their treadmill after sweating all over it. Gross. Yeah, I saw you
  • The people who don't shovel their sidewalks
  • The people who don't salt their sidewalks
  • The people who don't pick up their dog's crap - especially near the sidewalks
  • The people turning right on a red light right in front of me
  • The people pulling out in their cars and stopping right in front of me
  • Uncool running groups who leave people behind
  • People walking in the jog/run lane at the track
  • The huge groups of people who walk/chat together and block all the lanes on the track

Instead of lumps of coal, I mentally send you my old, stinky running shoes - pre-Skora Running. You don't even deserve my oldest pair of those. 

Anybody on your list?

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