Thursday, September 5, 2013

Baby Binge

Before I jump on in, another baby update:

It's a GIRL!

Last Monday (August 26th), I went in for my 20 week ultrasound (which apparently is the usual time where most other mom's-to-be would go for their first ultrasound) and it was an appointment I was looking forward to for quite some time!

For anyone who knows me, they would know that I'm not the patient type.  I usually can't even sit through a book or a movie without Google-ing or Wiki-ing the ending, so there was no way that I was going to wait the whole 9 months to find out whether or not I was having a little miss or mister!

I am clearly very excited after getting to my appointment.  Picture kind of sucks though because I got a bit self conscious because the place was all hush hush and I realized all you can hear coming out of my change room is the click click of my iPod camera *LOL* #aintnoshameinmygame

Note: It's not like the movies where you just go in and lift your top.  They ask you to change into these paper ponchos, so make sure you totally wear cute underwear.  Leave the ones that your dog had previously gotten into but the holes weren't so bad that they were still okay to wash and keep.  I heard someone did that once....

Aaaanywhozers, that was last week, so today was my regular appointment with my OB to also follow-up on the ultrasound results.

As per usual, he asked if I had any concerns or questions (which I never seem to have when I have the opportunity to ask, but have TONS a few days later *sigh*) and I did mention that I was wondering where I was at weight gain wise since there are a couple of websites that give averages and charts of where I should be at weight gain-wise, but I figured I'd just go ahead and ask him so I'd have something to say and have an OB appointment that lasted longer than 10 minutes.

He waved it off after I mentioned that I was looking online (I think he's got a hate on for online info, which I guess I can understand why...) and he said chances are I'm okay and had me hop on the scale.

Yeah, well chalk one up for BabyCentre's "chart" because the second he moved those little scale weights around, he was all tune-changed.

I am over (and by over I mean more than double) the amount of weight-gain expected for how far along I am and that's a tsk, tsk.  He asked what I was eating and I think he thought I was just being evasive when I said "what am I not eating?" because he pretty much said that "whatever it is that I'm eating and drinking: STOP IT." *wince* 

What could I say really?  For me to even wonder out loud, it was clear that I had that idea, so I could only just duck my head and nod, but he went on to talk about how I should be wanting to eat better food that is more healthy if not for me, but especially for the baby, and well....practically hearing that I'm already sucking as a mom before my baby is even out to tell me herself that I suck first thing in the morning wasn't really that fun.  I had a big ol' pout face and I totally caught myself with a squishy mashed up face with that lower lip jutting out.  I had a moment of defiant, defensive attitude where I wanted to tell him that the second he was growing a human being and felt all out of whack and tired and hungry, then he could go ahead and lecture me on what my mindset should be at, but well...I was still busy pouting and trying not to cry.  Plus, somewhere in there, I was grudgingly admitting he was probably right, but still...I guess "lifestyle change Catherine" got a little wake-up call there too and was feeling a bit shamed for taking a step back and letting chubby Catherine come out and play for a bit.

But I heard him loud and clear and it was the kick in the butt I needed.  So I told everyone at work right away so that they could help keep me in line and I told Bart so that he could feel all vindicated and smug (though he'd never actually tell me) after the whole "having a breakdown at Swiss Chalet" moment.

First order of business:

Got myself out at lunch for a run since my SportWatch was clearly telling me that once a week last week wasn't really good enough.  Pushed a teeny, tiny bit and was able to go a little bit farther before stopping for a walking break, but I felt okay with it since my OB didn't seem too concerned with laying down any ground rules when I told him I had started knocking back some 5 and one 10k since the last time he saw me.  He was perfectly fine with me continuing to do that but kind of laughingly said that chances are I'll want to quit pretty soon and for some reason, I've got this childish feeling that I totally want to prove him wrong and I'll keep woggling for as long as I say so, thankyouverymuch!

Woggling [woggle]
Definition: Term used to describe the combined effort of walking, waddling and jogging

After I got home, Bart and I went straight out to grocery shop to stock the fridge and pantry with pregnancy weight-friendly food stuffs and when we got home, it was time for the hard part.

Bart stood with me as a combination shoulder to lean on and garbage bag holder while I cleaned out the freezer where I'd been hoarding my recent "cravings"

If you played "I Spy" you would see: Chocolate peanut butter coconut ice cream, Turtles ice cream, a Drumstick cone (caramel filled, my friends), banana popsicles, fudgesicles, peanut butter ice cream filled chocolate chip cookie sandwiches and a random skinny cow mini pint here and there.  That all went into the garbage bag as Bart watched me say some tearful goodbyes and they were replaced by my now beautifully overflowing fruit bowl.  Where, instead of fudgesicles, I've now got a papaya, and instead of ice cream, I've got bananas and kiwi and nectarines and apples and mangos, OH MY!

I'm currently suffering from some poutine withdrawals, so excuse any typos as I'm shaking and rocking myself in my snoogle as I post.

Needless to say, I was kind of down today thinking about everything and probably being more sensitive than I should be about that whole "failure as a mother" thing, but I'm told that's just the beginning of that feeling so to just ride it out.  So here I am now NOT eating two bowls of Reeses pieces cereal before bed (like I did yesterday) and tomorrow I'll be up bright and early to revisit that wonderful world of food prep for the day.

1 comment:

Marti Wills said...

Good for you! You will be happy you did it and the baby will be too. Just the first in a long line of two important things in motherhood - feeling like a parent fail and sacrificing for the kid. We've all been there! No big!

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