Friday, November 9, 2012

Insanity Day 24: I'm a success story in the making!

If they say that what goes up must come down, then today I also learned that once you're down, there's nowhere to go but up.

Yesterday sucked and I let it.  But you know what?  Today I took this to heart:

For a second, today was touch and go for a minute.  Even though I said yesterday that after I was done blogging, I would also be done with my bad attitude, sometimes it's easier said then done.  I was able to get some distraction, but the day was still there staying with me so that this morning, I ended up waking up at 5 in the morning and right away, my brain switched on before my body even realized it was even awake.  And right back at it my brain went.  Thinking, thinking, thinking, analzying, blaming, gathering facts and evidence, proving that I was right, thinking, thinking and thinking some more.  Composing arguments, coming up with counter arguments.  I would try to go back to sleep but then I'd find myself with my eyes squeezed shut and my brow furrowed with the biggest frown on my face.  How can anyone fall asleep like that!?

So I did something.  The way that I did it may different than what you would do, but I think the foundation might still be the same and apply.  I smoothed out the frown lines on my face and I told myself to stop it.  I thought in my head that today wasn't going to be like another yesterday.  I left that behind.  I can still deal with the situation but I wasn't going to do it this way.  I don't do this very often (or as often as I should) but I looked at myself honestly and figured that if yesterday, I said I was going to let this go and move on, and here I am at 5 am right back where I started, clearly I was doing something wrong.  I figured that while I'm strong, I could be stronger and I pushed all the other arguments and thoughts (no matter if I was right or if the arguments were spectacular), I pushed them aside and I prayed.  For me, it was praying, if that's not your thing, it could be reasoning with yourself or soul searching or whatever.  I prayed and I admitted to God that I wasn't handling myself very well and it was taking me on a path that I didn't want to take.  I told Him that the intentions were there to let go, but I couldn't seem to be doing it on my own.  So I asked for help.  I asked for the help and the strength that I needed to let this go so I could be in a better place than I currently was.  I thanked Him for the blessings that I do have and acknowledged that this, no matter how it was affecting me, was just a small blip in the awesome life that I am currently living.  As I was going through all the things I was thankful for in my head that surpassed what happened yesterday, I was already in a semi-sleepy state and as my husband came to kiss me goodbye as he left for work, I drifted off to sleep.  For the next hour and a half, I slept and didn't feel like I was in that semi-sleeping/semi-awake state that I had been feeling for what felt like the whole night.

I didn't mean to get all philosophical or religous or anything on anyone but I had intended to write things completely different when I started blogging here, but this is the direction my fingers and my thoughts went, so please forgive me if I keep following where this is going.  I'm not saying anything concrete or that "A" caused "B" because it's really only occurring to me now but I but I got up and started my day and I was not in the state of mind that I was in only a couple hours before.  Perhaps it was distraction because I was PUMPED to start using my Nike+ FuelBand, but I got ready for work and the first thing that happened was another touch and go.  The manager of the department I was having a problem with yesterday came in and asked to speak with me privately.  Already knowing what it was about, I was preparing myself for WWIII in the staff meeting room.  He offered my a seat and I declined.  And then he said he wanted to apologize to me for what happened yesterday as it was brought to his attention, and based on the documentation that he looked over, he can see that his department was in the wrong.  He said he understood where I stood on what happened and that he would be speaking to the rest of his staff to ensure that they are all made aware of how things are supposed to go as what happened yesterday wasn't the way.

Without being me or part of this department, I can't even BEGIN to tell you how I was NOT expecting this.  We've been having the HARDEST time with this new department and manager for 10 LONG months.  Our biggest problem being that this manager is young (granted, he's not that much older than me) and he's got that attitude where we young folks always think we know everything.  He NEVER admits he's wrong and here he is not only acknowledging that something happened yesterday (as he's been wont to sweep things under the rug when it comes to his department) but he apologized and clarified.

Anywho, I guess this has gotten pretty long and I haven't even talked about my workout, but I guess what I'm feeling is that a lot of the time, your mental state really is half the battle.  Yes something happened yesterday that sucked, but when I chose to handle it incorrectly, it put my state of mind in a place that sucked the life out of everything else I did that day.  This morning almost started out the same way until I REALLY told myself I didn't want it to be that way and I asked for help.  I'm not saying that my state of mind CAUSED that manager to come over, but even if he didn't, my state of mind made ME okay, regardless if he had come over or not.  I was no longer bringing the entire office down with my bad attitude and instead, we were on our way to having an awesome Friday at the office and what happened next was just a pretty cool bonus.

And that state of mind carried into my workout.

Because I kicked its butt, rocked its world and then some!

I'd like to say that TODAY marks the VERY FIRST TIME that I've been able to get through Plyometric Cardio Circuit's warm up from start to finish - NO stopping in between for water breaks or to catch my breath.  And you wanna know something?  Warmup or not, I am so flipping proud of myself, it's not even funny!  I mean, if it's funny, you can laugh if you want.  I totally agreed with Shaun T when he said "and I'm smiling 'cuz I LOVE IT!"  I totally caught myself grinning like a fool as he counted down from the last set of mummy kicks.  Awww, now I kind of feel bad that I said he could suck it yesterday.  *LOL* Sorry Shaun T, it wasn't you, it was me!

There were a couple times where I was ready to stop and rest my legs - especially during those jumping jacks - and my mind was all, "it's okay, you can grab some water after this," but all of a sudden there was a new voice in the mix.  She was all like, "yeah, you can stop and grab some water after this if you waaaaant, but but kicks are coming up next and those are easy.  Stop after butt kicks!" So I was like, OKAY new voice!  You got it! and I'd get going on those butt kicks.  Except during butt kicks, she would come back and say, "Excellent.  You can TOTALLY stop and grab a drink after butt kicks....eeeeeexcept, high knees are after this and those are even EASIER than butt kicks.  I mean, as soon as you get started he's already saying there's only 15 seconds left.  You can do 15 seconds right?" And I was actually nodding and talking to this girl OUT LOUD.  Next thing you know, I was telling her to shut up because I was tired, but she was resilient, that girl.  Instead of telling me off she said, "well, okay, you've done enough - in fact, you've gone longer than you've ever done, so you can stop now if you want, but I mean...there's only like high knees and mummy kicks left...if you want to stop SO close to the end, you can, but it just seems silly now don't you think?" and I agreed so I kept going and in the last 10 seconds of those mummy kicks, I was so psyched, I found it in me to go FASTER!

Wherever that girl came from, I gotta say...I like her!  Hope she sticks around for a bit!

Anywho, if you're still here, thanks for sticking it out with me today!  I touched on some things I don't usually mention or talk about but it is what it is and that's where it went.  I'm feeling really good about today and as of a couple hours ago, I also beat my FuelBand goal so I gotta say, it's win-win all around!

P.S. As of today, I'm THREE workouts away from finishing my first MONTH of Insanity!

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