Thursday, November 1, 2012

Insanity Day 17: Pure half-assed-ness

I feel like I'm the anti-spokesperson for Insanity.  With each day and blog post that passes by, I sound less and less pumped about my workouts.  And honestly, I don't mean to be!  I would hate it if I turned someone off of trying the workout because I'm a big whiny baby.  I should have a disclaimer somewhere.

I'm not sure what it is...perhaps I bit off more than I can chew or that I got a little too overzealous.  Apparently there never seems to be a middle ground with me.  Either I'm 100% into not caring what I put into my body or exercise or I'm 100% working out and killing myself.  Which is weird, because I don't really feel like I'm trying all that hard to kill myself, but I don't think my body is lying.

It's feeling pretty run down and I think it's more detrimental to me than if I had just stayed sane and tried to take it slow and easy.

I've got full-time work, and then I've got Insanity going, and then I have the Ultimate Frisbee team, and then I've got swimming and kickboxing at the gym, plus my youth group committments, plus my weekly choir committments and practice for it and then somewhere in there I bake cakes as a side business.

My body is hurting and I don't think it's in a good, no pain no gain kind of way.

At least I may have made one revelation today.  Last week, I started noticing that my lower back and the backs of my legs were hurting a bit...or at least making me feel uncomfortable.  I chalked it up to just being able to go hard, do more sets, sink deeper, stretch further, but I think it might have something to do with Cardio Abs - and no I'm not just saying it because I don't want to do it, but I've been feeling fine for the first couple of weeks that I've been doing Insanity, and then all of a sudden, uncomfortable pangs are cropping up when I'm expecting my body to feel stronger and more...limber.  Instead, I have tingling sensations zinging up and down some parts of my lower back and legs.  I'm still thinking it's a pinched nerve of some sort or perhaps a strain?

When I sink into my C-sit, I think because my abs are more like a big giant balloon, I'm straining and pulling more in order for me to do some of the moves - especially the ones requiring me to bring my knees in and left my leg. 
I am currently feeling really odd in my left leg that's no altogether making me feel good about the workout and it's more pronounced when I sit because then I can feel it in my lower back zinging through my bum (that sounded different in my head) and then down the back of my thigh into the backs of my knees. 

Yet as I type I worry that I'm being a big baby and imagining things are more serious than they really are and that I'm just sore because I'm so out of shape...and perhaps the voices in my head are trying to find a way for me to just stop this "Insanity", if you will...

I thought it would feel better since I took yesterday off to recuperate a little bit. 

Gaaaah, I don't know, is it the jumping? The landing? The hopping? Too much impact?  Too much squats?!
Or is this one of those moments where I'm standing on the cusp of a quote where it says something like, the moment you get through the time when you want to quit, is the tide to succeeding or something like that?  Is this a test for me?  The moment where I figure out what I'm made of?  Cue the slow motion inspirational music?  The time where the universal producers of life decide whether or not I'm a made for TV movie?

I'm at Day 17 for crying out loud!!! I feel like I should feel way better than what I'm feeling right now...which, incidentally...is a big giant, non-improving failure :(

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