Thursday, November 29, 2012

Insanity Day 37: Shut. The. Front. Door

Okay, so somewhere along the way, my counting got messed up and apparently I'm on day 37.  At least, that's how many check marks my calendar has.  So in case you're wondering whether I missed the counting lessons in kindergarten, I know it looks like I just jumped up from 34! *LOL*

So, remember when I was on here waxing all poetic about how proud I was of myself and how awesome it was to see me improve from Day 1 and blaaaah blah blah.  Timewarp.  I'm back at Day 1.  Today was beyond HARD, y'all.  It was insane and it was painful.

Painful, how so?  I face planted.

There were moments where my body was like, "WTF is happening?"

Let me backtrack a second though to my last comment.  I still am proud of myself, don't get me wrong, that hasn't changed, but just as I was getting used to feeling strong and accomplished, Insanity switches it up and takes it up a knotch.  Which of course I know is what's supposed to happen.  Gotta mix things up, keep my muscles guessing and all.  But it's no fun *pouts*

There were also a LOT of push-ups in this one.  Considering my push-up count was all of ZERO about a month ago, there were a LOT.  Level 3 Drills is 32 push-ups.  When he said that, I was like, "but I can only do 15..." *LOL* So where was I on the second set of push-ups? Back on my knees. Bah.

But hey...how can I measure improvement if I don't suck at something first, right?  So I'm considering this my challenge.  30 days from now, I want to look back on this post and laugh at the fact that I couldn't do about 65% of this DVD.  I want to remind myself 30 days from now how I had zero squat push-ups (really, Shaun T? Putting TWO of my LEAST favourite moves together in one?), zero side twisty whatever push-ups, that psychotic push-up balance thingy...that was all NADA!
...and that's cool.  This girl has gotta start somewhere.  Heck, I'm writing history for myself RIGHT. THIS. MOMENT.

 Because this is the last time I will be at this place.  Tomorrow I will improve or I will be on my way to improvement.  I mean, there's nowhere to go but up if I keep at it, right?

I noticed that there wasn't that much cardio in this one.  At least, not conventional cardio.  You still get your heartrate up, but it's not just from jumping and flailing around or jogging or wiggling or whatever.  Now the calorie burns are coming from the moves that perhaps are done slower, but need to be done deeper, longer, lower, stronger.  I'm telling you, I feel ALL of my abs and obliques EVERY single time I do a push-up.  So no, I'm not running/jogging, but the heart rate is going crazy just trying to keep everything in check.  The squats aren't just oh alright, let's go down into a squat.  It's get your butt down there, control it and then push up and then sink right back down.  Squat pushups, to keep from falling flat on your face, you want to squat down as low as possible to have the best control and form to get down to the floor without slamming your palms and wrists into the ground.  Squat, squat, squat.  Ugh.

I'm definitely going to be feeling my shoulders, chest and arms tomorrow, that's for sure.  But you know what?  I'm gonna keep at it and the next go around, I'm going to be better.  Definitely want to work on my tricep push-ups though.
I can NOT wait for recovery day!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Insanity Day 34: ihdgk3u[t69dkjg

Sorry, I was trying to type out a title but all the little black spots dancing in front of my vision seem to have hindered my keyboarding skills.

HOLY HANNAH!!!

Shaun T must be a wanted criminal because he just assassinated a lot of calories in my body.

That. Was. TOUGH!

I don't even know where my mind is anymore or if I didn't just hallucinate that I was doing the workout because it just seems so unreal that I could have made it through!  I think I got through the entire warm-up without stopping.  I loved that it was different from the first month's warm-up but still got me sweaty in a jiffy!  Every little difference from the first month to now is totally registering...like being able to actually DO an entire set of jumping jacks whereas before, I couldn't even get through a few seconds' worth.

Yesterday's fit test/assessment at the gym caught up with me though because I had a hard time with the push-ups in this DVD workout.  And there were a lot of moves that I was definitely feeling my abs in. Which I will attribute to the situps I had to do yesterday.

Oh, CONFESSION: I didn't do the Insanity Fit Test today! *wince* I forgot about it and was already into the actual workout and although I could have stopped it since I wasn't in so far, I didn't.  I figured, enh, I just had a fit test.  So I had BETTER have REALLY good improvement numbers the next fit test go around.  That's all I'm sayin'! *LOL*

I could really feel the difference and impact that the extended workout time has from this month's workout to last.  An hour is LONG, yo!  It's that timing bar at the bottom killing it for me again!  I'm working it and I'm getting it in and I think, my goodness, I've got to be done by now and a quick glance up at the screen, and WHAT?! I still have another half hour to go?! What else could he POSSIBLY do to me that won't kill me if I keep going!?

Oooooh, there's lots more.  Though I do have to say that I really love the "ski abs/push up jacks/in-out/oblique push up" move.  I mean, I could barely do more than one set of it, but how can you not feel like G.I. frickin' Jane while doing it?  I wanted to get up and be like..."WHOO-RAAAH!"  Maybe instead of an "I earned it" T-Shirt, we should be getting dog tags after completing the program! *LOL*  Doing some of the moves really had me feeling like I should be having a "be all that you can be" moment!

I'm also really feeling my quads today.  Today's workout coupled with my maiden voyage on Jacob's Ladder yesterday has got me feeling muscles that I thought I had already met.  May I just wander off the path for a minute and comment about how intense that ladder machine is!  When I first joined the gym and was taking the tour (prior to my awesome assessment session /sarcasm) the tour guide pointed out the two Jacob's Ladders they had sitting smack dab in the middle of the gym floor surrounded by all the other treadmills and ellipticals.  She said that it would probably look familiar to me if I watched The Biggest Loser.  I didn't and had no idea what it was but she mentioned that they were quick calorie burners so that caught my attention.  Two, almost three months later and I'm finally getting around to pushing past the intimidation I feel even just thinking about it.  People have told me that this ladder is HARRRD.

And YES.  IT.  WAS.  I'd like to proudly say that I contributed my own sweat tracks to the tracks under the ladder rungs.  I didn't even think I could stick it out for a MINUTE.  I felt it EVERYWHERE and it was really a mental effort to keep telling my mind to keep my muscles moving, pulling up one foot to step one run up after the other.  It wasn't Insanity, but it sure as heck was CRAZY!  The other thing about it is that I mentioned is that it's right in the middle of the gym.  For EVERYONE to see.  You have to climb like you're actually climbing a ladder, one rung up at a time, feet and hands climbing and for the first second, you're kind of conscious that your butt is kind of up in the air for everyone to see.  And then the second is over and all you're concerned about is just not dying and even then, you're kind of wishing for it to happen so that the ladder would just. please. STOP.   I went 25 minutes in total, but in 5 minute intervals with some long-ish breaks in between.  I'd say I got in about 4 5-minute intervals with 4 1-minute breaks though some were longer than others.  That ladder is intense, y'all.  Wasn't pleased that I got the bright idea to try it for the first time the day before I was set to start Month 2 of Insanity for the first time.

I've worked out and then I've worked out hard.  But today is the first time I can officially say that every stitch of my clothing was drenched in sweat.  Sorry if that's a little TMI, but I type that proudly.  Each drop showed I gave it as much of myself as I could give.  I grunted and groaned and shrieked with the best of those folks on the screen and then I dug deeper and went just a little bit harder...right before I stopped for a water break...or just to double over and blink my vision back into focus.

Now that it's over and the pain and intensity seem to be fading from my memory, I'm starting to get mad at myself that I didn't go harder, but I'm pretty sure that I went as hard as I could for today.  Every time I had to stop, there wasn't a time where I just said that was that.  That's it for me.  I took a break but I came back, even if it was for the last ten seconds to finish out the set, I came back and I finished each set.  And the floor switch kicks? (I don't know if they're actually called that), a month ago, I couldn't even lift my hips up off the floor and today I managed to be able to switch kick it the best that I could while taking some breaks in between.  Me!!! Little, round me!

I ended up going through two 24 oz bottles of water plus my recovery drink by the time the workout was through and I'm really feeling proud of myself.  I'm getting to watch and live through my own little history in the making.  I'm doing something worthwhile for myself and it feels so. frickin'. good. :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Insanity Day 31 - 33: Re-assess and Reflect

It's pretty awesome how things seemed to line up pretty well schedule-wise. This past week I finished my Core Cardio & Balance Week and today I had my two-month assessment at the gym.  So it worked out pretty well that I was able to get that assessment in before the second part of Insanity starts.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned on here already that my first assessment wasn't the greatest experience for me.  Sure I knew it wasn't going to be a glowing report about my health but the fitness consultant's transparent goal to get me to sign up for personal training sessions and her strategy of making me feel awful about myself to get me there had me leaving the gym just wanting to cancel my one-day old membership and heading to the nearest chicken nugget supplier to stuff my face.

Instead, I had some AWESOME friends who told me to forget her and focus on proving to her that she was wrong.  That I don't need at least 100 personal training sessions to even get close to my goal weight.  They told me to prove her wrong by showing her that it won't take at least 77 weeks to get close to my goal weight.  And that once I hit that goal weight (which incidentally is still too high for my height) I could celebrate that I got there and shatter that goal if I wanted to.  And they told me for the icing on this proverbial revenge cake, that I could do all of this and show her - all without a personal trainer.  They told me I could.  They told me they would help. And I can because they are.

I walked into her office today 21 pounds lighter than when I walked out of there two months ago. Based on all the measurements in the areas she took, I also walked in there down 18.75 inches in total and with 4% less body fat than the last time I was there.

She asked what changes I had made since the last time I was in her office and I talked MFP up like I invented it.  Not only was I proud of myself, I was proud of this community.  For existing solely for the purpose of helping people achieve what they want to achieve and not asking for anything in return.  She asked if I was sticking to my committment to coming to the gym three times a week and I said not lately since I was finding I was getting in a lot of workouts and exercise all on my own at home and out and about without having to come in.  I just became accountable to myself and to my friends IRL and here on MFP who told me that I could do it.

And then she said that the first 20 pounds are the easiest to lose anyway and the real test would be losing the next 20. #facepalm.

I just had to turn my head and kind of laugh in disbelief a bit.  I guess people don't like to be proven wrong.  Although I really did try my best not to rub my personal trainer-less lifestyle in her face.  It's not like I said anything negative about them.  I just wanted to prove that it wasn't for me and it would have been good of her to get to know me even a LITTLE bit before telling me that that was the only way to achieve what I had set out for myself.  She scheduled this follow-up solely because I said no to the personal training sessions the first time around and she said that she would schedule a follow up to assess how I do working out by myself and if the results aren't great and I really did care about my health, that I would then need to sit down with my husband and re-arrange our finances to make personal training a priority for me.
 
After we tallied up the results of this second assessment, instead of telling me she recommends 100 personal training sessions for me like she did last time, she changed it to perhaps I only need one session a week now, just to focus on my strength training since that's where I did the least amount of improvement on.  I politely declined and we closed up the assessment and she did not offer to schedule another follow-up to see where I'm at in the next two months.

I left with a smile on my face.  Not because I feel like I did end up being able to prove to her that in my case, she was wrong about the personal training and I didn't take to heart her comment about my journey to losing these 20 pounds to be the easiest.  I left because whatever she or anybody else can say, or how they say it, the numbers on the piece of printed paper I took with me don't lie.  They don't have a particular tone of voice or a certain attitude or an agenda or a weekly quota of having to sell PT sessions.  The numbers just say it like it is.  And my numbers have negatives in front of them.  And my paper has lots of 'em.

At the end of the day, it's not about her anymore.  Yes she made me angry and yes, maybe I can give her the credit that her making me angry really pushed me, but I hope that  I was just being too sensitive over news I didn't like and that she doesn't actually come across that way to other people.  Because perhaps the next person who feels that she treated them like that won't have as great a support network of friends like I do.  Perhaps they haven't had a chance to find MFP where people will tell them that yes, they CAN do it but also provide constructive, honest criticism and positive reinforcement and support stories, too.  And maybe that person will end up where I wanted to run - which was the nearest fast food joint and just call it a day.

It's funny though, thinking about her comment about the first 20 pounds being the easiest to lose.  Because I've been on the fence about that.  There are some days where I've felt like the last 60+ days have been the hardest 60+ days of my life.  Every day trying to figure out what I can eat.  How many calories is in something before I put it anywhere near my mouth.  Having to try to blend with everyone else during social functions and trying not to call attention to the fact that I can't order what everyone else is ordering.  I can't conform to how everyone else is eating.  Ordering water when everyone else is ordering whatever they want.  Placing the longest order and probably being a server's least favourite customer because I have to ask for things to be put on the side, or hold this or that, or can you substitute this for that?

Waking up at 5:30 in the morning on some days because I know the rest of the day will be busy and there will be no time for any kind of workout later on.  Having to figure out what other things aren't as important and that can be ignored for a while or having to let my husband pick up the slack on the things I'm not doing because I'm trying to "find the time" to make my health a priority.  Having to say no to family or social get-togethers because I need to fit a workout in or because everything else that I've had to let slide around me has finally piled up and I still need to find the time to do them.  Trying to find a balance between being prepared and NOT borderline obsessive about weighing food, knowing portion sizes, prepping food ahead of time for the week and then having to order something and trying not to freak out because I've lost control over what's being put into my meal.  Getting my butt up and moving when all I feel like doing is spending time with my husband or my family.  Keeping moving when all I want to do is pass out.  Not being sure whether it's sweat or tears running down my face because I'm trying to push myself as much as I can.  Being scared to go to the bathroom because it means I'll have to try to sit on the toilet and my quads are already on fire and I may not be able to get back up.

It's funny because none of that seemed all that easy.  To have someone so flippantly say it to me like it was and like I shouldn't dare feel as proud of myself as I do for having done it for the last two months, like it was no big deal...
Then again, maybe it's true.  Maybe losing twenty is no big deal and perhaps my journey to the next twenty pounds will reach a standstill.  Maybe all the work that I feel like I've put in is nothing to what I'm going to have to do now to even lose a couple pounds. Perhaps this consultant isn't here to mollycoddle me but tell me things the way that they are and I'm just being too sensitive.

Let's say none of that matters.

Ten pounds, twenty pounds.  I've decided that in the long run, it no longer matters.  I'm going to keep going because I've promised myself that this is a lifestyle change.  My priority is no longer how much I weigh, but how I feel about what I put into my body and how I feel about what I do to and with my body.

I have been re-assesed and now I'm reflecting.  I remember exactly how I felt during the first day of Insanity.  I could barely do any of the sets that was illustrated to me on the TV.  And now I'm doing everything that those people on the TV are doing.  How much I weigh or not, there's been a difference in me and about me.  Before I couldn't and now I can.   That's all there is to it.  If my new goal for this new lifestyle of mine is to continuously try to turn everything that I can't do into something that I can, everything else follows.  If the food I'm eating doesn't allow me to change the can't I'm working on into a can, then it has to go.  If the food I'm eating is helping me change my can't into a can, then clearly it's the right thing to be eating.  If in the time I continue to attempt changing my can'ts into cans cause me to lose weight and tone muscles, etc. then it's an awesome bonus.

Two months ago, I couldn't do ONE push-up.  So that was one of my main goals.  I wasn't even thinking about the food I needed to eat.  I just knew that the next time I was asked to do a push-up, that I would be able to do it.  Today I did 15.  And these are sans knees push-ups y'all.

Anywho, I feel like my mind has gotten away from me and I'm just rambling and we all know how long my posts are already.  33 days in to Insanity and 60 days into this lifestyle change and all I can say for me is that I will keep going.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Insanity Day 30: Buuuurn!

It was probably the wrong time to pick up the kettlebell set.  I haven't had a chance to really bond with my set since my arms feel like spaghetti noodles after my "recovery" week workout! *LOL*

Gonna keep this one short today since I'm feeling pretty wiped.

Went out for our almost 5k walk at lunch and forgot my HRM again! DOH!

Ah well, I peeked at the exercises and did a best guess at how fast we were going and it ranged from higher 200s to 300s.  So it's good to have an idea of what I burned.  The squats from last night really made themselves known during the walk though.  I was TOTALLY feeling my butt, quads and the backs of my thighs and my ARMS!

With the FuelBand, I usually do some jogging in place while pumping my arms and I couldn't do much today since my arms and shoulders were sore!

Felt them even more today but while I didn't burn as many calories as I did yesterday, I noticed that I got through a LOT farther without having to take a break!  I think the first time I didn't do an entire set was...oh the hip flexor workouts.  I got all the way up until I had to pulse the knee up.  Had to put my foot down and holy moly, it buuuuuuurns usssss!  Two points if you know where that one came from!

So for the next couple of days, I'll be working on trying to get farther and farther into the workout without stopping mid-set.  I did get a lot farther on the last set with the arm workout, but I had to stop during the up and down arms right before making the small forward circles.  Wow.

I love how a lot of these workouts are really just simple moves that you look at and think, 'what!? that looks so easy!' except when you get down to it, you realize that it works you pretty hard.  So I like it that it reminds me that sometimes it doesn't have to be all flash and show to be effective.

I'm also loving the walking plank.  Even though he said it's mainly working on the chest and shoulders, I love how I can totally feel it in my obliques - especially since sometimes I have moments where we're doing oblique work and I don't actually feel anything.  Walking plank?  I DEFINITELY do!

So there it is.  Day THIRTY.  It took me a LOT longer to get 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Insanity Day 29: My Butt Hurts

SRSLY. And I'd never even met my hip flexors until Insanity.  Now Shaun T wants me to meet it and greet it EVERY workout.  My hip flexors kind of hate me.

...and my buns? They don't feel nothin' like stee-yul!

Two points to anyone who can tell me where that came from! *LOL*

I mentioned yesterday that I went for a walk at lunch yesterday and at lunch today I spent a majority of it running around chasing after a frisbee, so I got in a good calorie burn though I didn't track it (secret bonus calorie deficit!)  I got back at lunch and I was wondering out loud to my coworker that even after all this working out I've been doing, I can't believe my body and hurt so much just from running and walk around at lunch.

It completely slipped my mind that I started a new portion of the Isanity program.  My body has probably gotten used to the first month of the program but definitely not this week's workout and I think THIS is the reason why different things are hurting and burning, including my arms, shoulders, obliques and  yeeeeeeep, my butt!!!

The long yeeeep came from the fact that my husband is watching Storage Wars right now.  

But even with only a week of this workout, I can see a little bit of improvement!  I was able to burn more calories this workout compared to yesterdays and in less time!  Hopefully I'll be able to keep increasing my burn with every day that comes, though I'm not sure.

The last couple of days, I've just been feeling SO tired.  Yesterday I mentioned I had to drag myself to get moving and today, I actually passed out on the couch for a bit with one sock on and one sock off while I was getting dressed to work out.  The Insanity program plus my FuelBand is really kicking my butt! *LOL* I honestly can't rest until I've at least met my goal or soaked it.  Lately, I've been aiming to ice my goal.

If you don't understand FuelBand lingo yet, soaking your goal is meeting your daily goal and then beating it by 50%.  Icing it is doubling your goal.  At this time, my goal is 3000 and yesterday with the lunch hour walk included, I was able to ice my goal for the first time and I think it's totally tuckering me out! *LOL*

CONFESSION: I had a little moment today despite the fact that I can tell that I'm making progress.  For some reason, I can't SEE it through my progress pics.  Everything looks the same and it SUCKS!

I'm a quantifiable results kind of girl (checkmarks, numbers, stats) and this includes pictures to me and it kind of disappoints me sometimes that I can't really see any significant differences from my first picture at the start of my journey to now.

I haven't posted this EVER and I'm still probably going to pull it, but here's my progression pictures so far.


 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! *COVERS EYES*

Monday, November 19, 2012

Insanity Day 29: Cardio Balance and WHAT Recovery?!?

So I could say that I did just what Shaun T said to do in the video when he said to just work but not to feel beat up and to take it easy because it's recovery week but that would be liiiiies!

I "took it easy" because this was TIRING! *LOL*

I think I can go hard and quick and flailing, but when you slow the moves down and control them using core and muscle groups? Ugh...I was shaky and wobbly!

I was also starting to think that I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of finishing the first month of Insanity.  I think the celebration and announcing it to everyone (including everyone on Facebook *wince*) had my body feeling like it was over.  I gotta say, it was REALLY hard to get back into it.  My head was saying, "Okay, body, let's get back into it." and my body was like, "Say whaaat? We already finished! We celebrated and announced it and everything!"

I was supposed to start up again on Saturday, but I shuffled and puttered around the house and I just could NOT get it together.  I ended up taking a rest day - not to excuse myself, but I think I was kind of due one - so I tried not to feel too bad about it.  I kept it in mind that Sunday was Ultimate Frisbee day and I made sure to GIVE 'ER at the game.  Sucky me completely forgot my HRM so I had to take a best guesstimate of my calories based on how much I normally burn.  I usually average over 500 or more (though not less than 600) and even though I knew I went hard, I docked off 100 points and just logged myself 400.

Today my friend and co-worker Tara messaged me early this morning about going for a walk at lunch time and I said yes.  I felt even better when she told our other co-workers that we were going for a stroll at lunch, so I was like, okay.  I'm definitely up for a stroll.  It was such a nice day and we got out there swinging our arms like crazy monkeys!  We both got FuelBands so it's been a really hilarious competition so far!  But she TRICKED MEEEEE! It was DEFINITELY not a stroll!

She started jogging and I was like, HEY!!! In our lunch hour - even when we used to do the C25K program during lunch hours - we went farther!  We hit 4.38k in 50 minutes! Say whaaaat?!  Because I thought it was just a stroll, I didn't bring my HRM either and I didn't even try to log it.  I figure whatever calories I burned will just be there without trying to eat it back - although I know there's a certain teeny, tiny tub of Skinny Cow icecream in the freezer calling me name!

After my workout I was sitting here stretching thinking about the kettlebells that I saw the other day.  If you know me by now, you know that my mind has been a busy bee.  It can't rest when it wants something!  I had recently seen a set at Walmart but it was about $60 and considering my splurge on the FuelBand, I couldn't really drop that much on them just yet - especially considering that I've never used any before and I don't reeeeally know what to do with them, though I have an idea...

I figured I hadn't checked Canadian Tire out yet, so with 15 minutes to go before closing time, I zoomed out of the house and into the nearest CT and out I came with a kettlebell set! YAAAAAY!!! And these ones were only $40 for the set!

Awwww yeah!  Thank goodness this one came with a DVD.  At least I can use that and get an idea of what I can do with these!  Can't wait to get STRONG!  If you haven't heard, skinny is good, but STRONG is the new SEXAAAAY!  Can't wait to get strong AND smexy! 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Insanity Day 27: 50% DONE

...and 100% certain I am in need of a chiropractor!

Perhaps I should have actually re-booked my appointment when I missed it a couple of months ago.  Plyo circuit kind of insists that I need it!
 
But who cares?!  I am HALFWAY through INSANITY!  For lack of a better word, it's INSANE!!!

I am feeling so pumped right now, I even managed to DOUBLE my NikeFuel for today!  As the app would say, I ICED IT, baby!  Vanilla Ice has got nothin' on me, cuz this girl is on FIRE!  Can you tell I've been listening to the radio, I've got million thoughts and songs running through my head at warp speed right now!

So halfway through and before I start the recovery week (which incidentally, looks more tiring than the workouts from this past month!) I thought I'd have a peek at my starting stats and compare them to this week's check in on Wednesday!

Starting StatsWeight: 199.2 lbs
Waist: 43 in
Hips: 43 in
Bust: 46 in
Left Thigh: 25 in
Neck: 15 in
Shoulder: 22.5 in
Left Bicep: 13 in

50% Done Stats
Weight: 183.8 lbs (-15.4)
Waist: 41.75 in (-1.25)
Hips: 44 in (+1)
Bust: 44 in (-2)
Left Thigh: 24.25 in (-.75)
Neck: 14.25 in (-.75)
Shoulders: 21.25 in (-1.25)
Left Bicep: 14.5 in (+1.5)

w00t!!! *insert Arsenio Hall whoo whoo whoo here*

So let's bust out my rusty math skills here, shall I?

 I am 15.4 pounds down since I started.  Of course, can't attribute it all solely to Insanity since there was kickboxing and Ultimate Frisbee in there, but I'd have to say it was definitely a BIG part of it!  And although it's not moving as fast as I'd like, the tape is cinching slowly but surely...except for those two areas, which I don't mind about the bicep because I'm hoping it's MUUUUUSCLE I'm building there, but weird about the hips and sad that I seem to be losing the most in the girls, but... Ah, well, what's a girl to do!

I am feeling so insanely proud of myself right now.  I haven't even gotten through the first cycle and I'm already planning my second Insanity cycle already!  Numbers and tapes and scales aside, I know there's marked differences.  I feel awesome when I can notice the difference between how I feel and move from the first day I popped that Plyo DVD into my player from today.  It took 4 weeks to get there but I just did three Insanity workouts in a row without having to take a break during the warm up and with each day and workout that passes, I'm getting further and further through while taking less breaks.  I feel stronger, I feel capable and I feel AWESOME.  The girl in the mirror keeps winking at me and trying to give me high fives and I can't help but return them!

I'm pondering whether or not I should take a rest day tomorrow or just jump whole hog into the recovery week, but I had a bit of time before I had to step out earlier this evening, so I put in the Cardio Balance and Recovery and I didn't see anything 'recovery' in that work out.  In fact, it looks WAY harder! *LOL*  Nothing like a little fear before the start of another month of workouts!  I don't even care, this is GOOD fear, I think.  I don't care what I'll look like or feel when I start it because I know that if I can give as good as I can get, the improvements will speak for itself.

Honestly, I thought I was doing Insanity JUST to lose weight and look cute in tiny outfits, but it's become so much more than that.  I am finding that I am LOVING feeling this week.  It's not about shrinking and seeing smaller numbers on the scale - though it's an AWESOME bonus.  It's just knowing the girl I used to be and how lazy and unaccomplished and lackadaisical she was and then getting to know THIS girl.  The one who's still lazy about working out but pushes past that and gets 'er done anyway. The one who is starting to learn the value of hard work and the meaning of putting in the work now to get REAL rewards later, not just cheap rewards that taste good for ten minutes.

I'm still not perfect and there's still a lot that I don't know but the girl I used to be is keeping the girl I'm becoming humble even throughout all the pride I know I've earned so far.  Because I know that anything can happen and that bad days will come and go and sometimes my will to succeed in this may not always be stronger than my will to eat a bag of chips.  But I'm also learning to forgive myself along the way and just keep going and the things that I'm learning throughout this journey fitness-wise isn't just containing itself in this one area of my life.  It's spilling out into the rest of days and principles.  Because I can forgive myself for the small mistakes I'm making throughout my journey, I'm finding I can overlook other people's mistakes because everyone makes them (for the most part).  Because I am finding that even when my head says 'no, I can't', I can learn that I'm wrong, when someone else tells me, 'no, you can't', I know I can find a way to prove THEM wrong.

Not to sound like an infomercial, but I'm finding I really DO have more energy to get other stuff done and be more productive and that's pretty cool too.

Anyway, looks like my endorphin kick is running out of steam and it's creeping closer to midnight!  Gonna try to releax a bit and get some sleep and hopefully I'll be able to get out of bed and move my body tomorrow! Gotta remind myself that it was SO worth it!

Thanks for sticking it out with me.  I know I talked a lot about myself and what I did on my own in this post, but it will ALWAYS go without saying that whatever I've found that I can do, half of it is ALWAYS because of the encouragement that I have been getting from my friends and family and the new friends and family I'm making HERE on MFP.  I can't even explain in words enough how it feels to have friends like you, but I think since we're all in this journey together, you already have an idea of how I'm feeling.  But just in case, *BIG GIANT HUGS* comes pretty close!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Insanity Day 26: ...and then there was one

...as in ONE WORKOUT LEFT until I have officially completed the first MONTH of Insanity.    Not counting the week "off" between months, I'm almost technically 50% through the program!  Which incidentally is the longest I've ever stuck with anything DVD workout program!  I almost said anything at all, but then I remembered I got through the C25K program (on the treadmill) and then had my butt handed to me when I tried running the same speed and amount of time outside on the road.

But let's not dwell on that right now! *LOL*

Today I was dreading my time at work but I wasn't really looking forward to it ending because I knew that when home time came around, I'd have to go home and work out.  Ugh.  Wasn't feeling it.  What's even worse is that I knew it was Pure Cardio & Cardio Abs up tonight.  I didn't feel up to one workout and I have two to do? Bah!

I dilly dallied a lot and even tried to convince myself I'd rather clean up stuff around the hosue then workout (yeah, NO), but eventually, I finally made it into my workout clothes, trudged around and filled my water bottle, mixed up my recovery drink, dragged my butt over to the DVD player to put in the workout until there was nothing left to do but actually workout.
Bart was just getting home from work and he settled in to watch and give support and be my cheerleader.  I told him not to bother because I had already decided I was only giving about 75% tonight.

Something must have happened to me when I pushed play though because I'm pretty sure I gave somewhere closer into the 90s.

Even without this Fuelband pushing me, it's kind of hard not to be competitive with myself.  As I started the warmup, I already had it in my head that I had announced it to the world (or to MFP and by the world, I mean Kelly who's awesome and reads my entries! *LOL*) that I had already gone once through a warmup without stopping.  It seemed kind of shameful to brag about that one day and then not be able to do it again the next day, so I pushed.

If Shaun T ever came to town to do a group workout, I'm pretty sure I'd never be able to go.  I pretty much sound like a lady in labor when I workout.  I even noticed that I use one of their techniques!  I try VERY hard not to look at that yellow timing bar at the bottom of the screen while working out.  If they meant it to help out to show that there's only this much time left...it doesn't work for me.  For some reason, I'll be working out and when I glance at that bar, I get mad because I feel like I've been working out for WAY longer and can't believe time's not up yet!  So instead I usually focus on the floor, or like how I caught myself doing for the past few days - right above my TV on a shelf is an angel figurine that I put out for Christmas when I first moved in here...so about 5 years ago and I never got around to putting it away...I mean, why, Christmas comes around again anyway, right? *LOL*  So, here I am staring at this angel like it's all I have left or that someone's told me if I look away from it I'll die (which is kind of plausible if I keep listening to Shaun T when he tells me to keep going) and I'm huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf who is in desperate need of a bacon day.

For whatever reason, it may be because of the oxygen flow, but I really think it's becasue of the distraction that it provides, coupled with the focus on the object, but to get through the warmups, I've been breathing a LOT.  I really took it to heart when Shaun T told me to listen and that whenever I get tired, all I need to do is take in a really deep breath and blow it out HARD.  So that's what I do, over and over and over again until I realize that it's time to do a different move in the warmup.  I'm so focused on looking at that angel and making sure I'm breathing out like my TV is on fire and only my breath can put it out that by the time I realize I'm tired or that my calves are on fire, it's time to do something else...and it's been working out for me pretty darn well!

As we were starting to sprint on the last leg of the warmup, I knew I was going to finish the warmup again without having to stop to take a break.  In my head, there was NO WAY I was going to stop now.  I'd come too far and next thing you know, he's calling it and I'm feeling like I could mummy kick 'til the cows came home.

Can I get a w00t!?

After that...well...I mean, it's Pure Cardio...and Shaun T loves him some squats.  Sqauts and I are still frenemies.  We have an understanding.  I'll do about 10 or 15 reps and then I'll switch out to jogging to give my shaking thighs and glutes a break before I get back into it again for the last 10 seconds.  Burpees killed me today.  I think I burned a lot of calories just trying to ensure I didn't face plant and just pass out.  Burpees are also my everest...next to squats and globe jumps.  

But I got through it and then I powered through to Cardio Abs and got through that too.  I'm getting better at the jumps although I don't really feel that I'm working my obliques during those wide jumps.  Plus, I can't concentrate because that girl in front of Tanya with the curly hair always distracts me.  She does the moves funny and I have to stop and giggle sometimes.  She also distracts me during the Plyo circuit because seriously.  Who comes to a workout called INSANITY with their hair NOT in a ponytail.  Honestly, now matter how many times I see the DVD and know she doesn't have her hair tied back, it bugs me again when I see her with her hair flying all over the place.
But I digress... *LOL*

To celebrate my finishing out my workout and the fact that Bart is FINALLY home from work at a decent hour, we went out on a date night to see Skyfall!  Got there and realized it was completely sold out, so ended up seeing Hotel Transylvania instead. *LOL*  Quite the difference, I'd say, but honestly, I liked it better this way anyway.  Daniel Craig still isn't believable as James Bond to me for some reason.  Since I hadn't eaten dinner yet, I made the reckless decision to make popcorn my treat/dinner (I know, no lectures needed, BAD CATHERINE!) and I even said yes to butter! GAH!  After a couple slightly-less-than-handfuls, I had a moment to put it into my MFP app and flipped out when I saw that a small popcorn for myself with butter was over 500 calories.  I dumped all of my popcorn into Bart's almost empty bag and went and got myself another small with NO butter.  I knew I had allowed myself to be bad and reckless, but I didn't want to waste good solid effort!  I ate the popcorn sans butter and drank my water from my water bottle and I'm not at all sorry.  (Though I'll have to load up on vegetables tomorrow, that's for sure!).  It was a good movie and I have a lovely date with my husband while surfing the endorphin wave from my awesome workout that was not just 75% effort :)

Hope you had a good evening as well, friends!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Insanity Day 25: Oops!

So in my last entry, it was pretty clear that I was VERY excited and proud of what I accomplished - and don't get me wrong, but I still totally am...but I am also totally SORE! *LOL*

 Going hard also means feeling it later.  It makes sense though, if I went harder than I ever had before. it would be odd if I didn't feel anything, but when I couldn't fall asleep because all my muscles were so sore, I kind of wished I felt it al ittle less.  I actually ended up having to take a night-time Advil/pain reliever just so I could finally fall asleep.  It wasn't any better when I woke up Saturday morning, though.  Instead of just being super sore, I was now SUPER stiff.  Gaaah!

So needless to say, after going non-stop for the last couple of weeks, it was time for a rest day.  I was a little
disappointed about not being able to go to kickboxing class, but I also didn't want to go just for the sake of going and doing the workouts half-assed.  I tried hard not to feel too guilty, because even the Insanity workout plan has a rest day.
Instead, I spent a fun-filled, bonding afternoon shopping with my momma and put my Fuelband through it's paces!  Rest day or not, I was going to meet my daily goal!

Sunday, I was definitely feeling better...and GREAT!  Just in time for our first indoor Ultimate game of the winter season!  Second GAAAH of the post!

Holy lanta, I forgot about indoor Ultimate.  It's like a completely different game compared to outdoor.  At least in outdoor, the field is bigger and there's more chances to take breaks, catch your breath and catch up.  Indoor Ultimate is pretty much HALF the outdoor field and it's just go, Go, GOOOOO!!!  You're running one way and then you haven't even taken three running steps and there's a turnover and you've got to slam your foot into the turf and turn around super quick.  It's a lot of start and go, start and go.  If only it were that easy, but it's more slam and go, slam and go and my legs are COMPLETELY feeling it.

Still, it was an AWESOME game and we WON!  I was already proud of myself on Friday, but during half-time, my friend Melissa and I had a quick walk down memory lane.  It's been exactly a year since we both signed up for Ultimate Frisbee on a whim and just judging from my experience alone, I. was. AWFUL.  I could barely go a minute running up and down the field.  And now, here we are zooming up and down the field and I'm running CIRCLES around some people!  I even busted out the shorts to wear for the first game with my multicolored, rainbow-striped knee socks!  It was a good move to wear the shorts, it was SUPER HOT in the dome tent, although by the end of the game I was thinking it maaay have been a little too early to wear shorts just yet...weight-wise! LOL

Last night was another hard night to find sleep as my legs were huuuuuurting and I was still feeling it today!  Cardio Recovery may have been a break from cardio, but that's pretty much it.  Part of me actually would have much rather have done cardio!  Those squats and pulses are SUCH a bitch!  With all the leg work I had done on Saturday, I can't say that I felt like I did a great job, even if it was recovery.  After, I felt like I needed to do more so I popped in my new Dance Central 3 disc and shook what my momma gave me!  After that, I happened to glance at my Fuelband and saw that I was 50 Fuel points away from 5000 so it was a mad dash or jumping jacks and the running man until I hit it! w00t!  That's my best number to date!

Gotta say, whatever its pros and cons are, the FuelBand definitely has me moving and it motivates me to keep moving more when there's points involved!

Whoops, which reminds me, I've earned myself a checkmark for today!

Thanks for letting me ramble!  Only two more workouts until the end of the first part of Insanity for me! WOW!!!!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Insanity Day 24: I'm a success story in the making!

If they say that what goes up must come down, then today I also learned that once you're down, there's nowhere to go but up.

Yesterday sucked and I let it.  But you know what?  Today I took this to heart:


For a second, today was touch and go for a minute.  Even though I said yesterday that after I was done blogging, I would also be done with my bad attitude, sometimes it's easier said then done.  I was able to get some distraction, but the day was still there staying with me so that this morning, I ended up waking up at 5 in the morning and right away, my brain switched on before my body even realized it was even awake.  And right back at it my brain went.  Thinking, thinking, thinking, analzying, blaming, gathering facts and evidence, proving that I was right, thinking, thinking and thinking some more.  Composing arguments, coming up with counter arguments.  I would try to go back to sleep but then I'd find myself with my eyes squeezed shut and my brow furrowed with the biggest frown on my face.  How can anyone fall asleep like that!?

So I did something.  The way that I did it may different than what you would do, but I think the foundation might still be the same and apply.  I smoothed out the frown lines on my face and I told myself to stop it.  I thought in my head that today wasn't going to be like another yesterday.  I left that behind.  I can still deal with the situation but I wasn't going to do it this way.  I don't do this very often (or as often as I should) but I looked at myself honestly and figured that if yesterday, I said I was going to let this go and move on, and here I am at 5 am right back where I started, clearly I was doing something wrong.  I figured that while I'm strong, I could be stronger and I pushed all the other arguments and thoughts (no matter if I was right or if the arguments were spectacular), I pushed them aside and I prayed.  For me, it was praying, if that's not your thing, it could be reasoning with yourself or soul searching or whatever.  I prayed and I admitted to God that I wasn't handling myself very well and it was taking me on a path that I didn't want to take.  I told Him that the intentions were there to let go, but I couldn't seem to be doing it on my own.  So I asked for help.  I asked for the help and the strength that I needed to let this go so I could be in a better place than I currently was.  I thanked Him for the blessings that I do have and acknowledged that this, no matter how it was affecting me, was just a small blip in the awesome life that I am currently living.  As I was going through all the things I was thankful for in my head that surpassed what happened yesterday, I was already in a semi-sleepy state and as my husband came to kiss me goodbye as he left for work, I drifted off to sleep.  For the next hour and a half, I slept and didn't feel like I was in that semi-sleeping/semi-awake state that I had been feeling for what felt like the whole night.

I didn't mean to get all philosophical or religous or anything on anyone but I had intended to write things completely different when I started blogging here, but this is the direction my fingers and my thoughts went, so please forgive me if I keep following where this is going.  I'm not saying anything concrete or that "A" caused "B" because it's really only occurring to me now but I but I got up and started my day and I was not in the state of mind that I was in only a couple hours before.  Perhaps it was distraction because I was PUMPED to start using my Nike+ FuelBand, but I got ready for work and the first thing that happened was another touch and go.  The manager of the department I was having a problem with yesterday came in and asked to speak with me privately.  Already knowing what it was about, I was preparing myself for WWIII in the staff meeting room.  He offered my a seat and I declined.  And then he said he wanted to apologize to me for what happened yesterday as it was brought to his attention, and based on the documentation that he looked over, he can see that his department was in the wrong.  He said he understood where I stood on what happened and that he would be speaking to the rest of his staff to ensure that they are all made aware of how things are supposed to go as what happened yesterday wasn't the way.

Without being me or part of this department, I can't even BEGIN to tell you how I was NOT expecting this.  We've been having the HARDEST time with this new department and manager for 10 LONG months.  Our biggest problem being that this manager is young (granted, he's not that much older than me) and he's got that attitude where we young folks always think we know everything.  He NEVER admits he's wrong and here he is not only acknowledging that something happened yesterday (as he's been wont to sweep things under the rug when it comes to his department) but he apologized and clarified.

Anywho, I guess this has gotten pretty long and I haven't even talked about my workout, but I guess what I'm feeling is that a lot of the time, your mental state really is half the battle.  Yes something happened yesterday that sucked, but when I chose to handle it incorrectly, it put my state of mind in a place that sucked the life out of everything else I did that day.  This morning almost started out the same way until I REALLY told myself I didn't want it to be that way and I asked for help.  I'm not saying that my state of mind CAUSED that manager to come over, but even if he didn't, my state of mind made ME okay, regardless if he had come over or not.  I was no longer bringing the entire office down with my bad attitude and instead, we were on our way to having an awesome Friday at the office and what happened next was just a pretty cool bonus.

And that state of mind carried into my workout.

Because I kicked its butt, rocked its world and then some!

I'd like to say that TODAY marks the VERY FIRST TIME that I've been able to get through Plyometric Cardio Circuit's warm up from start to finish - NO stopping in between for water breaks or to catch my breath.  And you wanna know something?  Warmup or not, I am so flipping proud of myself, it's not even funny!  I mean, if it's funny, you can laugh if you want.  I totally agreed with Shaun T when he said "and I'm smiling 'cuz I LOVE IT!"  I totally caught myself grinning like a fool as he counted down from the last set of mummy kicks.  Awww, now I kind of feel bad that I said he could suck it yesterday.  *LOL* Sorry Shaun T, it wasn't you, it was me!

There were a couple times where I was ready to stop and rest my legs - especially during those jumping jacks - and my mind was all, "it's okay, you can grab some water after this," but all of a sudden there was a new voice in the mix.  She was all like, "yeah, you can stop and grab some water after this if you waaaaant, but but kicks are coming up next and those are easy.  Stop after butt kicks!" So I was like, OKAY new voice!  You got it! and I'd get going on those butt kicks.  Except during butt kicks, she would come back and say, "Excellent.  You can TOTALLY stop and grab a drink after butt kicks....eeeeeexcept, high knees are after this and those are even EASIER than butt kicks.  I mean, as soon as you get started he's already saying there's only 15 seconds left.  You can do 15 seconds right?" And I was actually nodding and talking to this girl OUT LOUD.  Next thing you know, I was telling her to shut up because I was tired, but she was resilient, that girl.  Instead of telling me off she said, "well, okay, you've done enough - in fact, you've gone longer than you've ever done, so you can stop now if you want, but I mean...there's only like high knees and mummy kicks left...if you want to stop SO close to the end, you can, but it just seems silly now don't you think?" and I agreed so I kept going and in the last 10 seconds of those mummy kicks, I was so psyched, I found it in me to go FASTER!

Wherever that girl came from, I gotta say...I like her!  Hope she sticks around for a bit!

Anywho, if you're still here, thanks for sticking it out with me today!  I touched on some things I don't usually mention or talk about but it is what it is and that's where it went.  I'm feeling really good about today and as of a couple hours ago, I also beat my FuelBand goal so I gotta say, it's win-win all around!

P.S. As of today, I'm THREE workouts away from finishing my first MONTH of Insanity!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Insanity Day 23: If it doesn't challenge you...

...it doesn't change you.

Gotta love a little distraction every now and again.

I logged on after my workout as I usually try to do and I was ready to blog that this workout - or rather TODAY, for that matter - Sucked.  With a capital S.

I had a bad day at work and I let its toxicity creep into every other part of my life.  I let it affect my attitude for the rest of the day, I let it affect my outlook on today and I let it affect my workout.  And then after all that was said and done, I was mad at myself for letting it happen.

Before I started blogging, I got distracted and was looking through my Facebook newsfeed and one of my friends happened to post this:

If that isn't some kind of sign, well then I don't know what is.

But I don't know to excuse it or explain it away or find another way of looking at it that makes what I did (or didn't do, to be more honest) okay.  A series of situations happened that sucked but I still had the choice and the option to make of that whatever I would.  I chose to let it destruct the rest of my day and that's on me.

I was trying to psych myself up as I was on my way home because I knew there was a little blank box that was waiting for a checkmark and bad mood or not, I was NOT going to let ANYTHING keep me away from that box.  As soon as I got home, I knew I was flirting right on the edge of the "I don't want to work out today" line and so instead of trying to force it and scare myself off the wrong side of the ledge, I started coaxing myself instead.  I got home and I put on my HRM watch as I let Chewy out in the backyard.  As I was waiting for him to finish his business, I wandered around the house until, oh look, I'm in my room and there are some workout clothes.  Might as well put them on.  On my way to let Chewy back in, I grabbed my shoes. And so on and so forth until finally, I was all dressed with nothing to do but work out or just quit right then and there and call it a day.

I remembered all the encouraging comments I'd been getting lately and my friend Kelly just telling me it's just about pushing play so I pressed the play button and as the DVD slowly started to make it's way to the workout, I told myself that today's hard day was the PERFECT excuse to go just that little bit harder.

I couldn't control the situation at work?  Well I could control this DVD.  I couldn't stop the ridiculousness of some people, watch them try and stop me from working out.  I really, REALLY tried, but I just could not get out of my head.  So at the end of the day, I burned my lowest amount of calories and I was mad at myself for not finding it in me to dig deeper.
If I was a movie, I did NOT have the inspirational, slow-motion moment where the audience is convinced that I'm done and I've got nothing left, except, cue music, there I go.  Nope.  I moved my body grudgingly and told Shaun T he could suck it because I wasn't digging anywhere!

I almost didn't want to put my checkmark in the box today because it felt a little like I was cheating myself.  But I did because I remembered that today, during tricep dips, I was able to get my butt up in the air for a few of those dips.  First time in 4 weeks.  I may not have been in the zone and I may not be feeling like I hate it my all, but I showed up and I worked.

I'm going to let myself have today and the moment and the mood that I'm in but I'm going to put a stop to it as well.  By the time I'm done writing this post Catherine from today is going to call it a day and shake this bad mood off.

I will push myself.

I will make mistakes.

But I will not excuse myself.

I will not stop myself.

Or sabotage myself.

I will not belittle my attempts.

I will overcome.

I am proud of myself.

I will move forward.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Insanity Day 22: Think Before You Drink!

So...note to self: Check the calories in a drink BEFORE ordering it.

Ugh.  I went over on my food log today!  It would have been a lot worse if I had skipped my workout, but I had to dig veeeery deep to find the will to power through and actually workout.

But you know, life happens and I don't want to dwell on it too much.  I have to be flexible and willing to bend a little, because when something is too strict or too oppressed, it's bound it revolt, right? I believe this is the longest I've ever stuck to a "lifestyle change" and I'm starting to believe it might really be an actual lifestyle change!

Things are starting to come to me second nature and when it comes to food, I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to eat anything I don't want to nor do I feel like I'm depriving myself.  Yes, I did go over today, but I believe I showed a lot of restraint and this Catherine is certainly different from the Catherine who would have thrown caution to the wind and ordered something completely different without one thought to what the consequences would be to the hard work she's already put in.  So YAY me.

Bellini well deserved!

As you can see, I'm looking properly scandalized or feeling slightly naughty that I'm about to drink this baby like it's the last day of the Mayan calendar.  The picture got cut off but below that my plate is CLEAN.  As in, if I just licked it a little bit, I could hand it back to the server and it would have looked like he'd given me empty plates *LOL* This girl was HUNGRY!
So the OLD Catherine would have ordered the regular cut prime rib and gotten the mashed potatoes and had them hold the seasonal veggies.  She would have gotten the bellini without a second thought and then ordered dessert.  NEW Catherine got the small cut of prime rib and substituted the mashed potatoes with a side caesar salad light on the dressing and I ate all my carrots and beans!  I had originally ordered water, but as my friend hadn't ever been to Milestones and had their bellini before, I joined her and had one.

Oh yeah, I guess I should explain.  Dinner out tonight wasn't originally planned, but my friend Suzy from Virginia was in town about 20 minutes away from me, so we wouldn't let her be so close and NOT meet up.  She's here for the week but tonight was my only free night, so it had to be dinner!  So I would also say that a special circumstance deserves a little bit of leniency!

Anywho! That's that!  My calorie overage wouldn't have been too, too bad but as I was able to get my workout in when I got home, I also started my new recovery protein formula that I picked up at Walmart.  Weider Maximum Recovery.  I don't know too much about it except for the few reviews I was able to find, but it tastes DELICIOUS.  I'm starting to wonder how good it can be for me because it's so delicious, but fingers crossed.  It had the word recovery in the name.... *LOL*
I'm not sure if I'm putting too much stock in it, but I felt pretty good today after starting chocolate milk as a recovery drink - or I guess, to be really honest, after actually putting in an effort to do something recovery after a workout since before I was consuming absolutely nothing after a workout.  I woke up sore and stiff this morning, but after getting up and walking around, I was feeling pretty good.

Started on the workout and I was able to get through the first TWO sets of the warmup and into the third and had to stop right after the third jogging set.  And I think it was mostly because jumping jacks are still hurting the bejesus out of my calves.  I actually caught myself smiling because I know for a fact that that's the longest I've gotten through in the warmup without having to stop.  Not a bad way to start off Week 4, I'd say!

I think from having just had dinner, I was a little low on the plank in and out, jumping bit because I had to stop for a bit because I thought I was going to barf all over my little puddle of sweat.  So I had to stop, but I could not stand the thought of me just hanging out not doing anything so after I got through as many of the ski abs as I could, I pushed myself up and jogged and high-kneed on the spot while everyone did ins and outs.

Otherwise, I am noticing a DEFINITE improvement from early days and even from last week.  Aside from the warmup, I was able to do ALL the suicides without stopping once, I was able to do all the mountain climbs and the ski jumps, although I'm sure I may have done them slower than the group, but I did them all in the time alotted.  So for that set, the only thing I missed out a lot on were the power squats.

The second set was a little bit harder.  I did all and pushed myself through the basketball drills because I knew that was pretty much the ONLY thing that I could do in full from that set.  Drill 1...well...I was able to do a few reps exactly as the group was doing it, and then it was down to pushups on my knees and then it was down to just hanging out on my knees before I pushed myself up and jogged on the spot to keep myself moving.  I was able to do a lot more ski abs than I normally do, but had to cut out early from those as well.  Ah well, still more room for improvement and I'm hoping with my recovery regimen, I'll be able to come back stronger and stronger!

Awwww yeah!

So was the bellini worth it?  I'd say no as I'd probably be sitting pretty on my food log without it, but I've forgiven myself and I still got that workout in.  It's over and done with and it was for an occasion that doesn't always come up, so I'm good with it.

Thanks for sticking it out with me and a REALLY big thanks to you if you've taken the time to leave some love for me.  I really, really hope you know that not only do I appreciate it and LOVE reading comments and knowing that someone's taken the time out to read my thoughts and experiences, but the encouragement is seriously PRICELESS.  I also love knowing that anyone who's reading my experience with Insanity is getting the feeling like they can do it too, because honestly, I am NOT an infomercial.  It's not like those Spanx commercials where they show thin people wearing Spanx that don't smooth out any lumps and bumps that they don't have.  I'm just me!  Round, food-loving (okay, food-GORGING) me, who would have rathered staying in bed, reading a book with my puppy cuddled up beside me and plates of food and bowls of popcorn beside me than to even go out for a short walk to the mailbox.  And I'm doing Insanity and regardless of how awesome my form is (or isn't!) or how strong I am (or aren't), I am slowly working through it and checking workouts off day by day.  Some days I feel good about it while other days I feel like complete crap, my legs hurt and I catch myself wondering why I'm doing this when I'm sure I was MUCH happier just being everyone's fat friend, almost every day there's a check mark getting logged onto my calendar and the days are ticking down and I know that T-shirt or not...at the end of all of this, whatever good happens out of this...I've EARNED it.

*HUGS* Talk to you soon friends!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Insanity Day 20 & 21: You know what that means...

FRIENDS!!!

I have OFFICIALLY finished my THIRD week of Insanity!  Can I PUH-lease get an Hallelujah!

I'm feeling REALLY proud of myself at the moment, not just with the fact that I've been able to complete week three, but also, because today was one of those days where I almost gave myself a pass.  Today was a really big day at work and I knew it was going to be legit CRAZY.  I ended up having to stay two hours after "home time" because there was so much to take care of and because dealing with finances and other people - especially when a lot of the situations is the fact that a lot of the people we dealt with today didn't have the finances required of them...it was mentally as well as physically draining.  After we finally were able to call it a day, I pretty much just slouched in my seat and could have just slithered right onto the floor.  I realized that for the whole day, I missed drinking my water, missed all my snacks and barely got my lunch in and of course I forgot or didn't have time to take any washroom breaks.  *wince* I just wanted to get home, change into some warm, fluffy PJs and cocoon myself under a mountain of fluffy blankets with a good book loaded onto my ereader and my fluffy puppy cuddled right up beside me.

But I'm telling you...the power of the empty box needing a checkmark can probaby get me to do almost anything.  Knowing that that box was empty and needed a perfectly drawn checkmark would not let me veg out.  I got home and changed right away so I could get down to business!

...and with that said and based on the last few workout entries, I'm happy to say that I burned an extra 20 calories since my usual average.  If I couldn't get through a set or a particular move within a set, instead of just stopping, I did something else to keep my heart rate up and my body moving because sometimes I have to stop not because I'm tired but because my legs hurt, so I recovered those calories by just jogging on the spot or whatnot.

Awwww YEAAAH, say whaaaat? *LOL* There's Chewy in the background nudging me to pay attention to him.

I wonder if my mini "dig deeper" moment was because of the chocolate milk I drank last night as a form of recovery intake.  Hmmm...I can't really say that it was or it wasn't, but it's interesting to note.  After last night's workout, I got onto some review boards and started looking up cases for and against chocolate milk as a recovery drink and I have to say I was really wanting to see the cases for chocolate milk since it's about a million times more economical for me to have at the moment.

However, I did go to my local GNC and asked around for what they would recommend and got two options.  Both were actually more expensive than BeachBody's Results and Recovery formula, so I wasn't really all that interested since the person helping me out couldn't really tell me how they tasted.  I know I must be health store employee's worst nightmare or something.  I have an idea, but I don't know the first thing about it and then after trying to help me out, all I seem to care about is the taste *wince*  However, I believe I had some good intelligent questions to put forth, so I'm hoping I wasn't a total brain dud.  At the end of the day, I ended up going to Walmart and picking up Weider Maximum Recovery because yes, it was way cheaper than what GNC was urging to get and I looked up a couple reviews on my phone and people had mentioned that it was pretty okay tasting.  It was about $29 so I'm a little bit worried I'm going to fall under that whole "you get what you pay for" adage, but looking at this way, since they don't seem to offer any kind of small trial packets, I'd rather spend that amount of money and find out I don't like it, then spend $70 on something and find out it sucks.  Basically, I've still got my sights set on BeachBody's Results and Recovery formula and I even have a sample packet I'll be able to try if I decide to go that route.

I know some people may probably be thinking that if something tastes bad but works really well, I shouldn't be so shallow about whether or not I like it as long as it does the job, but I'm a newbie and I'm surprised I've even lasted this long.  I'm trying my best to make this the best possible, most enjoyable, successful experience that i can to help myself out.  I know myself and I know that I'm not in the right place where I can get the mindset that even if it's unpleasant I'll just have to push through.  I feel like I'm really going for it already with the workouts themselves, so why not cut myself a little slack elsewhere if I can manage to find a suitable alternative.

Immediately after my workout today, I grabbed a banana and an 8 oz glass of chocolate milk, so I'm hoping I'll feel like taking on the world tomorrow!

Whoops!  I've got myself a spoiler little fluffy puppy who just draped himself across my entire laptop.  Clearly I'm not arranging my priorities to his liking *LOL*  He's looking at me with this total look of accusation like he's saying, "What? I let you workout and have your "you" time already.  Now pay attention to me!"

I'm off to lavish some much-needed attention on my favourite little man on four legs, but FIRST: I've gots me a couple boxes to check off.  Have a great night, my friends!!!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Insanity Day 19 + the Weekend

Hello friends!

Even with the one hour fall back, this weekend has come and gone in a flash!

Saturday, I took a much-needed Insanity break and went to the gym for a kickboxing class.  Even though I say much-needed, I felt really guilty for not doing an Insanity workout and was sad when I walked by my calendar and didn't  have a reason to check a day off.  But in any case, it's been more than a weekn since I'd been at the gym so it was nice to be back!

I feel like I was being punished for missing a week because Terri, the instructor, kicked. my. butt.  I was expecting push-ups and the regular routine and it was a WHOLE new workout and it was HARD!  I gotta say though, it felt GOOD.  I don't know what it is about putting on my gloves and facing a punching bag and just whaling on it that feels really empowering and just plain hardcore.  It's a big class, but Terri is awesome.  She always seems to know the exact right time to stop and push me.  There were a couple times when I was ready to grab a water break and she came and just yelled right by me that I could do it, I could DO it, it was ALL me and I GOT it.  She said I could and so I did.  Also felt like she was taking pages out of Shaun T's book because we did a lot of burpees, butt kicks and high knees.  All in all, a good gym day!

What better way to end a gym day than with soem quality Mother-Daughter time!  After that I picked up my mom for a shopping trip!  I tried to be very good, but as always with weekends, without the scheduled routine I missed out on my snacks, but got a lot of water in.

Today, it was right back into Insanity.  After choir today I took a little detour before home time and went grocery shopping and then after that, somehow ended up at a sporting goods store.  It's been a long-time coming but I've been meaning to get some cross-trainers.  I've been working out in my running shoes and I've been having a lot of pain in my arches and my shins/calves in different areas than I used to have when I was running.

I'm thinking I should have gone to a better sporting goods store where I could have had someone help me and actually converse with me about what type of shoe and support I probably need for my type of feet, but like usual, I had something in my head and I just wanted it.  I picked out a shoe labelled trainers and tried it on with a few other ones and did a few experimental jumping jacks.  Picked the one that felt the best and went with it.  I was excited to get home and try it out.

Preeeeeetty!  Now before you go blaming me for just picking out pretty shoes, I really did try to pick out the shoe that felt the best for me.  I had really nice black and white Nikes on (I don't really like colour on my shoes...)  but it had some weird cushion thing inside and it felt weird jumping in them and the Asics I tried on before those were even nicer, but as I wasn't interested in a lot of arch support, I declined them because there was a noticeable bump-y thing for my arches.

In any case...apparently there will be yet another expensive trial and error.  It took me forever to find the perfect pair of shoes to be able to run in comfortably and now it looks like it will take me forever to find a pair of shoes to train in because sadly, these don't feel like the ones.  I had them off immediately at the end of the warm up which I did crappy in because they hurt.  I will be trying them out a few more times since I know they're brand new, but why can't I just find a pair of shoes that I put on and get through a workout in?

Overall, today was a really productive day despite the fact that I know I didn't put 100% into my workout.  I know I could have gone harder, but I just didn't.  I always do this.  I sit around after a workout thinking I could have gone harder, but whenever I have the opportunity to try again (ie. the next day), there I go again, just trying to get by.

I burned slightly less calories than I normally do, but there it is! Still proud of my little puddle of sweat!

Had a little breakthrough today though via my friend "BeSexy" on here.  She mentioned the Results and Recovery formula.  I normally don't pay attention when programs tell me I need this and that in order to get through it, but I'm starting to wonder if this might be a time that I need to make an exception.

Now that I'm paying attention, I've read that the recovery formula is meant to "feed" my muscles or body after working out to help it repair (recover) and get ready for the next workout.  Considering that I'm not taking anything and having a REAL problem eating ANYTHING after a workout or taking in enough calories in the day for that matter, I'm thinking this is exactly the reason why after the first week of Insanity, where I'd been feelign just fine, I've been feelign really awful!  My body has been hurting as I've no doubt whined about, and my legs have been feeling so fatigued and tingly and sore.  Like sometimes as I'm sitting, it's felt like if I stood, my legs wouldn't even hold me up.  Gah!  Here I am working as hard as I can and I've been making it harder and harder on myself to keep going.

Of course, now I've got something in my head again that I want and I don't feel like waiting around for it to ship.  I'm thinking to duck into a local GNC to find something comparable, but then reading through some of the forums that I frequent, someone mentioned chocolate milk as a more cost-effective alternative.  Chocolate milk!  Yes! I remember reading about that while I was on my C25K kick!  So I grabbed a couple jugs of that and drank a cup after my workout.  I'll monitor how I'm feeling and hopefully that will turn it around for me.  Otherwise, I think I really will need to invest in a proper recovery drink for after my workouts.  I'm pretty sure I can't go much longer with the way I've been feeling and it's just so disheartening after working so hard and still feeling just like the first day without any kind of improvement - and in fact, sometimes feeling worse!

Well, off to spend some quality time with the husband and puppy!  I hope you all had an awesome weekend as well!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Insanity Day 18: Aaaah...

Hello friends!

To clarify that is a nice, deep breath ,and then deep exhale out Aaaaaaaaah (not a screaming, lunatic one).

Glancing at yesterday's experience and blog post, it's pretty clear that whatever workout I got, the feel-good endorphins did NOT hit while I was blogging it out.  *LOL*  Awwww, I guess there are days and then there are those days. 
Today I'm feeling QUITE lovely and nice. 

Perhaps compared to the hectic, stressful, frustrating day that I had, getting down and dirty on the yoga mat with stretches and squats and lunges was what I really needed to let loose and let go.  I'm feeling all nice, limber and stretched and I'm loving it.

There I go again, always on the opposite poles of things like usual!  It's making me chuckle a little at how much of a 360 I am compared to yesterday. 

It took a while for me to get into the "get dressed to work out" bit, but I'm telling you, that calendar with room for checking off workouts is my ultimate motivation.  Not hanging up a dress one size too small, not posting up pictures of skinny people or knowing that I'll be partying it up in Cuba over Christmas or in Vegas in February.  It's that calendar with all those little blank spaces for CHECK MARKS!  I'm a "gold star on my homework" kinda gal and THAT'S what gets me moving.  I get really tense when I know I need a checkmark!  It's quite possibly the Asian in me, but who knows.  I need checkmarks!

Seriously.  I'm feeling pretty darn good right now! 

I keep pausing my typing and sitting up and shaking my shoulders out a bit to get a feel for how my body is feeling and considering that my leg muscles were screaming at me last night and right before today's workout, I just feel really good.  I also sound like I'm slightly high because I'm noticing how I keep saying how good I feel *LOL*

There were still a lot of times where I had to get out of holding those stupid squats and lunges, but still noticing considerable improvement from the first go-around!  I'm definitely a lot more bendy than I was before and stronger in my arms to hold those planks! *happy mini nsv dance*  But at least that still gives me more things to work towards!  I can't wait to see me after I check off my LAST cardio recovery box!  Atlhough from the comments I've seen about Month 2, I'm not in all that much of a hurry for Month 1 to come and go!

Just goes to show that there will always be up days and down days and the difference between people are that there are some who'll accept and power through the down days so that they're around to see more up days.  If I had quit yesterday when I was feeling and out and altogether sore, I wouldn't be feeling like I feel right now!  Hopefully I'll be able to remember that the next time around because I have to accept that they'll come around again.

Thanks so much for sticking it out with me and listening to me whine and complain.  I'm very excited at the thought of being able to look back on these blog posts and shake my head at myself for ever having had such a hard time with push-up jacks or even (hopefully) globe jumps!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Insanity Day 17: Pure half-assed-ness

I feel like I'm the anti-spokesperson for Insanity.  With each day and blog post that passes by, I sound less and less pumped about my workouts.  And honestly, I don't mean to be!  I would hate it if I turned someone off of trying the workout because I'm a big whiny baby.  I should have a disclaimer somewhere.

I'm not sure what it is...perhaps I bit off more than I can chew or that I got a little too overzealous.  Apparently there never seems to be a middle ground with me.  Either I'm 100% into not caring what I put into my body or exercise or I'm 100% working out and killing myself.  Which is weird, because I don't really feel like I'm trying all that hard to kill myself, but I don't think my body is lying.

It's feeling pretty run down and I think it's more detrimental to me than if I had just stayed sane and tried to take it slow and easy.

I've got full-time work, and then I've got Insanity going, and then I have the Ultimate Frisbee team, and then I've got swimming and kickboxing at the gym, plus my youth group committments, plus my weekly choir committments and practice for it and then somewhere in there I bake cakes as a side business.

My body is hurting and I don't think it's in a good, no pain no gain kind of way.

At least I may have made one revelation today.  Last week, I started noticing that my lower back and the backs of my legs were hurting a bit...or at least making me feel uncomfortable.  I chalked it up to just being able to go hard, do more sets, sink deeper, stretch further, but I think it might have something to do with Cardio Abs - and no I'm not just saying it because I don't want to do it, but I've been feeling fine for the first couple of weeks that I've been doing Insanity, and then all of a sudden, uncomfortable pangs are cropping up when I'm expecting my body to feel stronger and more...limber.  Instead, I have tingling sensations zinging up and down some parts of my lower back and legs.  I'm still thinking it's a pinched nerve of some sort or perhaps a strain?

When I sink into my C-sit, I think because my abs are more like a big giant balloon, I'm straining and pulling more in order for me to do some of the moves - especially the ones requiring me to bring my knees in and left my leg. 
I am currently feeling really odd in my left leg that's no altogether making me feel good about the workout and it's more pronounced when I sit because then I can feel it in my lower back zinging through my bum (that sounded different in my head) and then down the back of my thigh into the backs of my knees. 

Yet as I type I worry that I'm being a big baby and imagining things are more serious than they really are and that I'm just sore because I'm so out of shape...and perhaps the voices in my head are trying to find a way for me to just stop this "Insanity", if you will...

I thought it would feel better since I took yesterday off to recuperate a little bit. 

Gaaaah, I don't know, is it the jumping? The landing? The hopping? Too much impact?  Too much squats?!
Or is this one of those moments where I'm standing on the cusp of a quote where it says something like, the moment you get through the time when you want to quit, is the tide to succeeding or something like that?  Is this a test for me?  The moment where I figure out what I'm made of?  Cue the slow motion inspirational music?  The time where the universal producers of life decide whether or not I'm a made for TV movie?

I'm at Day 17 for crying out loud!!! I feel like I should feel way better than what I'm feeling right now...which, incidentally...is a big giant, non-improving failure :(
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