Thursday, October 11, 2012

*insert witty title here*

I'm currently giving myself the silent treatment at the moment.  If I wasn't almost 30 years old and an adult, I would have my hands pressed up against my years, shouting "la la la la la" to drown out the voices.

CONFESSION: It's not actually a nod to maturity that I'm not already doing that, it's actually because my arms hurt too much to lift them above my shoulders *LOL* But the mature thing sounded way better.

Every day I try to make it a point to go onto the Sucess Stories area in the forum to have a look at everyone's awesome stories - and let's face it - the transformation pictures.  There are some AWESOME transformations out there, let me tell you.  And it totally gets me every time!  Every time I see someone's success, I want to be just like them!  I want to have something to put beside my "before" shots and seeing as it's only been two weeks, I want to actually have progress pictures too.  I just want to get on with this weight loss thing!

So here I am all inspired, ready and rarin' to go and then I hear her.  She's quiet at first and she kind of just mutters it under her breath, but knowing her as well as I do, I know she mutters it just loud enough for me to hear, and then, in the middle of my inspirational moment that I'm sure would totally be accompanied with an epic soundtrack if I were in a movie (I can't think of it, but it's the one with like, a solo trumpet and then BAM! Drum drum drum drum...yeah, you can't hear it? Weird, I can...) Anyway, where was I?

Oh right, that girl.  So there I am in the middle of my inspirational movie moment and all I hear is "Well, if you had stuck with it when you started this last year, you'd already be where these people are now, wouldn't you?" *FACE PALM*
I hate her but at the same time, is it because she's such a catty bitch, or is it because she's totally right?  Then of course, I start thinking of all the hard work I feel like I've been putting in and that girl sidles up to me again and whispers in my ear all sarcastic, "Way to go!  Only 11 more pounds to lose and you'll be exactly right back to the weight you were when you started a year ago!"

I look up in the mirror expecting to see myself and obviously a ratty, pinched-faced girl to match her craptastic attitude, but all I see is me.  The mean girl is in my head and she's just getting louder the longer I let her hang out with me.  She's starting to get all whiny because if it weren't for me, our year would already be up and I'd already have a success story of my own.  Instead, I listened to that other girl in my head who said it was okay to just order the 10 piece nuggets because logically speaking, it costs less than to just get the 6 piece and really, who am I to argue against financial logic?

These girls are getting on my nerves.  I don't see them hanging around or willing to tough it out with me when I'm digging to find just that little bit more on the frisbee field, or in the pool, or in kickboxing class.  So you know what, girls?  You may be right, but you're not there when it counts, so I think I'll keep going without you. 

I'm in the market to find a new me, myself and I.  And we're going to get healthy and fit without you!

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