Monday, December 31, 2012

A Year in Facebook Statuses

January
  • Happy, happy New Year, everyone! May 2012 be the best year yet! Here's to unknown blessings and adventures to come! May you all face it with your family, friends and loved ones at your side! 
  • Oh no. I just realized I forgot to charge my 'I give a crap' battery last night. Please hang up and try again on Monday.
  • Just got my E-Mail notification that I am officially part of an indoor Ultimate Frisbee team! This E-Mail also outlines that my team's name is Disc Pigs. Clearly the universe is punishing me for something.

February
  • Thankful for free evenings and weekend calling: Chewy was drunk-dialling my BB's phonebook - and by drunk-dialling, I mean he was walking all over my BB. *LOL* 
  • Sustained a scraped knee injury at frisbee today by diving and making the most amazing, seemingly impossible catch known to all Ultimate frisbee universe. By that I mean I was running and fell all by myself...while everyone else was on the other side of the field.
  • Staying up as opposed to waking up to 4:01 seemed like a good idea at the time, but SO worth it - for my PB and the inner technogeek in me, that is; everyone else, please consider this your disclaimer. Approach with caution. 
  • Me: Bart, you don't even read my blog :(
    Bart: I live your blog. And then I clean up after it.
    Touché, Mr. Bolton, touché...
  • Ugh. It's official: Down and out for the next few days. Thinking non-stress-inducing thoughts. I should probably get to sleep then...

March
  • Don't forget to spring forward tonight/tomorrow morning, friends!
  • After helping Kristine and Ushi move last week, I am now throwing out everything I own so if we move in the future, I won't have to carry it. Except for the couch...Kuya Marvin is gonna position and re-position our couch 8 times just so I can see what it looks like *LOL*
  • Me: Bart, watch The Hunger Games with me!
    Bart: What's it about?
    Me: Remember the movie Gladiator, where they had to be the last one alive to get out of the arena? It's like that, but with kids.
    Bart: -.-
    That sounded different in my head...
     
  • Things are literally rattling in the house from the music from the university neighbors. Meanwhile, I spent the day getting RRSPs, figuring out my investment risk tolerance, filing taxes, looking for a house AWAY from this neighborhood and looking up noise complaint info for tonight. I'm officially old and intolerant of young people having this so-called fun.
  • Laughed through 21 Jump Street!
  • It's so cheesy, but I'm loving the Bring It On marathon! A little silly fun before the Walking Dead finale!
  • Officially registered for the Niagara Falls 5K run! Here's to beating my last chip time! Went out for a "run" today at lunch and it was NOT pretty! *LOL* Back on C25K!
  • Watching Tiana's practice for the recital. First time seeing it and I think I embarrassed myself by crying a little *LOL*
  • Happy 30th Anniversary to mom and dad! Wishing you 30+ more anniversaries to come and thank you for setting a wonderful example of happily married life with all the work, effort, patience and love that goes into it every day! Love you!       
  • Happy birthday to our beatiful, ball of sunshine of a goddaughter, Lexy! We love how you always have a smile on your face and always so happy! We love you, munchkin and wishing you many more blessings to come! See you tomorrow! Love Ninong Bart and Ninang Tootz!
  • So excited to be cheering Johnalyn on for Miss Teen Philippines! Girlfriend's killin' it! So proud!

April
  • Three jackets? It's not excessive if you get LOTS of use out of all of them (and if they're 70% off!) 
  • Dance party in the car for the two hour drive back to the hotel! Thank you, Grove City! It's been fab! 
  • Course Instructor: If the Mayan calendar is right and the apocalypse starts, don't worry about the assignments. Just spend time with your families. L. O. L. 
  • Prepárate Cuba, estaremos allí en 40 días! Una piña colada, por favor! 
  • Jewelry and dessert party was a lovely success today! Ladies, thank you so much for a wonderful afternoon. P.S. Someone drank all my wine!
  • 9:00 pm - Meant to do the first assignment for my intermediate Excel course that's due next week. 10:47 pm - Just finished doing ALL the assignments for the entire course. Huh.
  • Packing lists, stalking TripAdvisor, creeping the forums, airport lounge upgrades, seat selections, oh my! 32 more sleeps and the 'planning for Cuba' craze has set in! But first up...the Virginia-Baltimore 'stuff-your-face-with-cupcakes' adventure with my crafty girls!
  • Yay! Got my first goal/touchdown/point during the last game! Summer Ultimate next, who wants to plaaaaay?
  • For some reason, I feel like trying out a high tea afternoon sometime. How very 'oh la la!' Big, floppy hats optional?

May
  • Congratulations Lulu and Christian! Beautiful wedding!         
  • Flying out of Buffalo for Virginia/Washington/Baltimore next week for five days, back home for five days and then flying out to Cuba for a week! I've been bitten by the travel bug and I keep getting E-Mail notifications of more awesome deals!
  • I'm not a mom just yet, but listening to my "kids" in the GVO youth group makes me the proudest EVER. I feel very blessed and honoured to know a bunch of thoughtful, humble, intelligent and open young adults. ♥
  • So...it didn't go EXACTLY as planned, but I had the funniest, adventurous Mother's Day with my mama yesterday!
    Mom, thanks for being the BEST mama to be stranded with on the side of the road in downtown Toronto! It wasn't a musical, but how can I not love spanding quality time with you any way it happens! Love you! (So...just flowers next year? LOL)
     
  • Classes are going great but I'd really like to shoot some guns now, please :)
  • Busy day planned out! Fancy morning with high tea and a cupcake adventure, then, messy afternoon at the shooting range and then eating crabs! Lots and lots of crabs!
  • Gun safety lesson = DONE! Let's shoot stuff!
  • Flight = Delayed :(
  • Delays = missing all connecting flights, so I've been re-routed to JFK. They cut my Detroit flight and I'm headed straight to Buffalo in three hours, then another two hour drive and I'll be home to husband and Chewy tomorrow! I felt so bad for the gate people freaking out due to all the people yelling at them after we were deplaned. I was very nice and flexible and was upgraded to first class for all the troubles :)
  • Boarded delayed plane. Sat down. Asked to deplane. AC on plane is broken. Delayed another hour.
  • Flight from JFK to BUF just got cancelled *cries*
  • Aaaah! Home sweet home!!!
  • DJ is playing 'Afternoon Delight' at this party.......at this children's party. I feel creeped out.
  • Gotta love fam jams. My heart is happy :)
  • See you in a week, Canada :)

June
  • Currently being eaten alive by mosquitos in Cuba, but it's a small price to pay for the awesome week we've been having! But home is where the heart is and I'm looking to being back home this Tuesday (I'll probably think this only ONCE since the plane lands and then I'll wonder why we ever left!) 
  • Using up the last few minutes of my internet card and then one last drink at the bar for tonight before heading back to pack! ...Okay, last two or three drinks at the bar! :)
  • What people do in the name of a higher power often says more about the nature of who they are than it does of the one they worship.
  • Made Chewy peanut butter popsicles for some cool, sweet treats. Officially Chewy's favourite person.
  • Yeeeeeeah! Awesome ultimate frisbee night! Finished with a WIN! One point for me and a couple-a smackdowns! :D
July
  • Woke up at 7 am yesterday, finished up a cake order, drove 8 hours and no more rooms left at the hotel! Bart and I are killing the next 4 hours playing Monoply on thr PlayBook at McDonald's and then another 4 hours more driving to VA Beach! Happy weekend everyone!

August
  • Through our ministry we are on FIRE: Fruitful, Inspired, Renewed and Empowered!
  • Finished the Ultimate Frisbee off with a WIN!!! One week off and then Fall season at Riverside!

September
  • Tea party at Langdon Hall is done. I need a STEAK!
  • "Thank goodness we go back to work! This long weekend was too long!" - No one, ever
  • Five years in the blink of an eye...
  • Really enjoyed our first Cirque show!
  • VEGAS. is. BOOKED!

October
  • I think I threw out my back trying to be sexy at the gym's hip hop class. It wasn't sexy and it wasn't worth it! *LOL*
  • We've had a few safety notices for attacks around campus areas, mainly geared towards women, and YET, I'm driving home and I see countless girls walking down the street at night with their heads bent over their cell phones texting/messaging and basically overall not paying attention to anything going on around them. COME. ON. GIRLS. I know it's sad that we're living in times where we're not always safe walking around at night and I don't want you walking around scared or paranoid, but you gotta help yourselves too! PAY. ATTENTION! Put your phones away, keep your keys in your fist and just focus on getting from point A to point B.
  • Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today I remember all of my family and friends who have lost their precious children too soon.
  • Day 3: Slipping in a puddle of your own sweat while doing moving push-ups with Shaun T. That's #Insanity!
  • Got my smexy on with kickboxing at the gym! Now I'm getting pumped for tonight's famjam to celebrate the one and only Kristine's 29th BIRTHDAAAAAY!

November
  • I knew my work day was at an end when I said to a kid paying by debit: "If you have a chick, just stick it in the bottom" as I handed him the debit terminal. *shakes.my.head*
  • I'm on the other side of the border, but I'm proud that the clocks were only set back an hour on Sunday and not 50 years today! FORWARD! /Politics
  • Sorry, Mittens. If it's a legitimate election, America has ways of shutting that whole thing down. Looks like it was legit, 'cuz you've been shut. down
  • Just finished the first month of Insanity - 50% down, 50% to go! Stats since Insanity Day 1: 18 lbs down and I can do push-ups without landing on my face. I think I need a chiropractor *LOL*
  • Shaun T is trying to kill me, y'all.

December
  • Just had the best dance party over at Andrew's and Erin's! Back with the fam and ready to welcome 2013!     
                               

Catherine in 2012

What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
  • Lost 30 pounds
  • Went to Cuba
  • Shot a gun
  • Baked a wedding cake
  • Went crabbing

Did you keep your 2012 new year's resolution and will you make any more for next year?
I don't even remember making any, so I guess that would be a no. I have not yet made any for 2013.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I recall...

Did anyone close to you die?
No. I am very thankful for that

What countries did you visit?
  • Baltimore, Maryland USA
  • Virginia Beach, USA
  • Varadero, Cuba
  • Cayo Santa Maria, Cuba

What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Smaller clothes!
A baby :)

What was your biggest achievement this year?
Losing 30 pounds in three months
Baking a wedding cake

What was your biggest failure?
Failing to start being serious about my health and well-being a lot sooner

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no!

What was the best thing you bought?
My Polar HRM to replace the one that was stolen last year :(
The Insanity workout DVDs
Kettlebells

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Bart's - who else lives through my blog life (ie. baking cakes and scattering everything around taking pictures of them and leaving them behind) and then cleans up after it? He's supportive about every crazy shenanigan I get myself into!

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I wouldn't say depressed but I sure know someone who's behaviour is completely appalling and I can't believe he can be okay with living his life the way that he does without any thought to others or the consequences of his actions

Where did most of your money go?
Hmmm, cake supplies, baking cake orders, making cakes for other people, then when I was over cake stuff, workout systems, gym membership, DVDs, workout equipment, gear and of course digital cameras - always digital cameras

What did you get really, really excited about?
Going crabbing in Virginia Beach, shooting some guns at a range, doing high tea parties, going to Cuba - TWICE!

What song will always remind you of 2012?
Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus Apparently that came out in 2009 - whoops! 
Somebody that I Used to Know by Gotye totally fits with what happened with a person that I thought I knew, though

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? Happier
b) Thinner or fatter? THINNER!
c) Richer or poorer? Still richer on paper, poorer in terms of what's actually in my account

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taken more pictures, worked out more, kept in touch with people more, blogged more, cleaned more, saved more money

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Ate less nasty fast-food, worried less, procrastinated less, spent less

How did you spend Christmas?
With my family in CUBA!

How many one-night stands?
None that I am aware of...

What was your favourite TV program?
Big Bang Theory

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate her...

What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of books, though I'm not sure any of them can be classified as the BEST book I read in the year...those are few and far between!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I wouldn't say it was the greatest, but I bought all of Taylor Swift's records *LOL*

What did you want and got?
I wanted to go to Cuba with friends and we did.  I wanted to celebrate Christmas in Cuba with the family and we did.  I wanted to lose weight and I did!

What did you want and not get?
I wanted to get pregnant...but it hasn't happened...YET!

What was your favourite film of this year?
Hmmm...maybe The Hobbit. 

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I enjoyed 2012 very much. I can't think of any one thing that would have made it better...besides winning the lottery or something!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Being proud that I was the smallest size at AddionElle *wince*

What kept you sane?
My secret Twitter account where I could actually "say" everything that I was thinking so I wouldn't have to bottle it all up inside *LOL*

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Celebrities and public figures are of no concern to me

What political issue stirred you the most?
  • President Obama winning his second term of presidency for the United States of America
  • The gang rape of a 23 year-old student in India
Who did you miss?
Out of sight out of mind?

Who was the best new person that you met?
Me...30 pounds lighter! *LOL*

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
At the risk of sounding like a cliched after-school special...you really can do anything you put your mind to.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Insanity Day 46: Max Holiday Punishment


Who ever said holidays were about eating?  They clearly had no personality because they SUCK! Why couldn't they have just said, the holidays are about DONATING food ONLY!  Or, the holidays are aaaaall about NOT eating! Fasting is FESTIVE!
But nope, for some reason, some dope and a bunch of his friends were like, let's sit around and eat stuff and tell ourselves we're feeling all warm and fuzzy while stuffing our faces with things that could clog our arteries and pores!  And for some reason, that tradition has totally caught on until now, with days before Christmas, everyone feels the need to celebrate with food! As if a celebration couldn't happen without food.  
*grumbles*
Sorry, folks.  Clearly, I'm a little bit kerfuffled.  Since Wednesday, it's been "celebration" mode.  Wednesday was a staff dinner and unfortunately, the person planning it felt the need to have it at a pub.  A PUB! You know what their healthiest item was?  A chicken taco salad in a deep fried bowl.  I tried my best to be good, but then the next day was a holiday party/jewelery party. And what was there??? FOOD!  Hahaha, okay, that one I shouldn't act like I was surprised there was food, I brought a platter of crackers topped with granny smith apple slices, 5-year aged white cheddar and prosciutto!  Mmmm...prosciutto...the night wasn't as well-behaved as the night before.  I popped hors d'oeuvres in my mouth like they were illegal substances and the cops were knockin' down the door and I had nowhere to hide the stuff.  *wince* I also had a glass of wine *double wince* GAH!  As soon as the glass was done I immediately switched tI already figured the damage was done.  Friday, well, whattaya know, ANOTHER Christmas party!  I was able to fare a lot better here because I was on high alert considering the couple of days I had before.  Saturday was actually the next time I was able to work out.  UGH.  Taking that long a break?  My body can feel the difference.


I took the punishment without complaint because I could practically feel cheese essences oozing out of my pores and it needed to get GONE!
In all honesty, I'm probably being really extreme.  I didn't really go overboard, but I went a little crazy that I couldn't even really log much of what I ate?  I mean, how do you log delicious jalapeno/apricot filled brie spread over toasted, olive-oil drizzled baguettes.  OMG, I think I'm re-living the moment.  
Soooo, where was I? It was no surprise that Saturday's workout felt HARRD.  I trudged my way through the workout and alternated between going hard and then wanting to just quit or die...whichever came first.  
Still don't have any plank push-up game, but it's starting to get better.  I can't get down, but I'm hovering as opposed to just moving straight into faceplant.  I have a feeling that I'm relying entirely too much on my arms and not enough on my chest, but I've still got two weeks of Insanity left.  I can DO it.  Plank push ups are in my FUTURE!  They just HAVE to be!
CONFESSION: Ever since I've been able to do push-ups, I've sort of been having a love affair with my arms.  There's like....muscles there!  I'd be int he middle of a conversation and cross my arms and then totally lose track of the conversation because I'd get all fascinated that my fingers are touching muscles!  Then I'd flex them and stroke my arm and then flex some more and then poke at the muscle and get all giddy that there's actually a muscle there! And then I look up and realize the person who was talking to me is looking at me with a mixture of disgust and amusement on their face.  
Sooo...after the workout punishment from holiday hell?  I had to get ready for two more parties.  Ugh.  :(

Monday, December 10, 2012

Insanity 40 - 45: Can't blog if you're unconscious...


...okay, so perhaps that may be a slight exaggeration, but it's pretty darn close.
I may have dropped off the blogosphere for a bit, but not from the wonderful world of Insanity - though it did slow down a bit!
Lemme back-track if I can, here.  That's why I always want to get my blogging done immediately after a workout so that I can make sure everything is still fresh - yes, even the sweat!  
My last entry was my flipping out (as much as a semi-conscious person can) after "recovery".  I'm still having a bit of trouble getting shirts on and off because I tore up my elbows pretty good with those high plank/low planks!  Gotta say, they do make for some excellent conversation though when people ask what happened to my elbows and I have to explain that I got them from Insanity. *LOL* CONFESSION: Totally feel hardcore when I explain it to people.
There were a couple non-Insanity days the last few days that I was stressing out over, but it's the holidays!  Friday I didn't have time to do any workout because it was my husband's work Christmas party.  
What can I say about that party besides *wince*  I started off with the best of intentions.  I had given myself some limits and allowed some leniency.  I don't drink so wasn't really tempted by the open bar, but I did allow myself one virgin caesar (and it was SO good I decided I wasn't going to think about the three days' worth of sodium I probably consumed).  Dinner, I was okay with.  I relaxed a little and I opted to have the salad with the cream dressing and did away with the delicious crusty rolls and butter.  I made sure I had more greens than dressing and then I turned down pasta and chose instead to have one small roasted potato.  Since they were small, I let myself have two, but ended up trading the other one away to my husband in exchange for his extra piece of roast beef.  So I had a moderate portion of roast beef and a small chicken breast with the beef "au jus".  I was pretty proud of myself for my give and take attitude.  I was happy with my choices and sat down and ate.  They announced dessert and I didn't even care because first off, it was in a completely other room so I would have had to get up out of my chair and walk down a hallway to get it (still lazy LOL) and second, sweets aren't really my thing.  So I had no qualms about missing dessert.
.............................so the thing is, though....
I don't like a lot of sweets.  You can put 50 chocolate bars in front of me and I won't even be tempted to eat even one.  But  this particular hotel where the party was hosted has a specialty bread pudding.  I was fine when I thought that they were going to serve a cheesecake or something generic that hotels would normally serve as dessert at a wedding or something.  But someone walked in with a dessert plate of bread putting with caramel rum/butter sauce and I was out of my seat and out the door before I could even register the fact that my eyes had zeroed in on that plate like I was a frickin' spy satellite from space.  I'm Asian so I'd never even heard of bread pudding until two years ago when my husband and my in-laws first started having Christmas dinner at this hotel.  So basically, for the last two years, I've only had bread pudding ONCE in a whole YEAR.  This year, we're going away for Christmas so that means I would miss my ONE chance to have it this year.  And now all of a sudden, here it is being presenting itself to me.  It was FATE.  Shaun T and his angels were practically saying, "here you go: you've EARNED this."  You can't just ignore Shaun T sending you a message like that!
While eating this pretty hefty pile of bread putting smothered in sauce, I'm telling my husband that I'm not going to be mad at myself for eating this.  I haven't fallen off the wagon or been particularly bad in a long time.  I'm going for it!
Once it was gone, I was so mad at myself.  Ugh.  To make it worse, I opened up my Twitter feed and the first thing I see is: Eat to meet long-term goals, not short-term satisfaction.
Awwwww, maaaaan!!!  Why? Because it's so true and really, the first moment that life presented me with a test? What did I do? Throw all the things I've been trying to teach my mind out the window about food and just dove straight into caramel sauce.  I know I have to find a balance and to not get to the point where I'm scared of food or to foster an unhealthy relationship with food, but I just don't think I'm there yet, where I can relax a little and allow myself small indulgences.  Because I already proved right there that I can't do small indulgence.  I went whole hog and covered that plate like there was a famine on bread and I would never see it again EVER. 
Ugh.  I don't want to always be freaking out over food.  I just wish I could trust myself more around things that I already know aren't good for me.  Or at least to even have the will to allow myself to have something with a DECENT portion size. 
Saturday, it took me a while, but I was right back on the Insanity train.  Kind of used it as a small punishment and when I felt tired, I kept right at it or slowed down but kept moving and kept asking myself if that extra scoop of bread pudding that I put on my plate was worth it.  *LOL*  Apparently, I can be a bit of an extremist....
Sunday was another Insanity-free day as it was Ultimate Frisbee day!  I can't get over how much I LOVE Ultimate Frisbee now.  I LOVE that I can literally run in circles around some people where before I couldn't even make it down the field at a slow, painful jog.  I love it that there was a girl who reminded me of the old me on the field who actually said she didn't even care if we scored so long as this would all stop.  That was me.  Really.  That WAS me.  I had to tell her to keep going.  I told her that I said the exact same thing a year ago but here it is, a year later.  I had to stop myself from gushing on and on because I didn't want to be that commercial sounding person.  After the game (we WON! Oh another factor in how much I love Ultimate Frisbee - we actually WIN games now! LOL) I told my husband that I wanted to get in an Insanity workout even though it was my off day to make up for the Friday that I nmissed.  It ended up that one of the other teams getting ready to play had no subs at all, so myself and another teammate ended up playing ANOTHER game.  I was PUMPED! Not only was I feeling good after our game, I was feeling good playing another game - and we helped them pull a win, too!
Honestly, not to sound all after-school special or cliché, but the old Catherine couldn't make it 1 minute running around in one game.  But this Catherine...this Catherine is fun to watch.  She runs and she laughs and she jokes around with people.  She's fun.  She's perky and she's energetic.  She also traded in her super long sweatpants that had to tie up because her old pants used to fall down because her stomach would push it down as she ran and her size XXL t-shirt for Adidas SHORTS and a size L t-shirt.  I don't even know this Catherine, though I'm liking what I'm getting to know about her.
I forgot about her this morning though when I could barely get my body out of bed *LOL* Whatever Catherine is, she's also getting old *LOL* I felt all groan-y and creak-y this morning! Like I could have used some drops of oil in all of my joints just to get moving.  Today, my husband and I did Plyo and even though it felt like I had nothing in me (almost literally, work stuff hit the fan and I ended up only eating about 500 calories throughout the day) we still hit it and got it in.  And even though this is still hard....there was some moments where I felt stronger.  The squat jumps/twists...I noticed I could get my butt down lower and get more power into my jumps...my power jumps were recognizable as power jumps as opposed to flailing arms coupled with a weak jumping jack lookalike.  I'm getting there.  Every workout is still a challenge, but I'm breaking it down.  Focusing and trying to get better than the last.  I've still got ZERO game with plank pushups, but I stayed on my knees and I kept at it.  I can't WAIT to be doing those plank balance push ups.  It's going to look a-maaay-zing.  And then I can sit and reminisce about the time where I thought it would be impossible to ever be able to do them.  
I might just be little ol' me, but I'm making history every day in my own little world "and I'm smilin' cuz I LOVE it."

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Insanity Day 38 & 39: WHAT Frickin' Recovery?!


Okay.  My body is officially a mixture of BLAAAAAAH.
Shaun T needs to get his people together and rename the recovery CDs because they are totes misleading.  MISLEADING I tell you!
You know what yesterday was? TORTURE.  Torture and faceplanting.  I did a LOT of faceplanting.
You know what month two of Insanity is for?  It's meant to wipe that satisfied, smug look on your face that you're wearing after completing month one.  It says, "oh congratulations, you got through month one? You must be so proud of yourself?  You must be feeling much stronger now right?  Good job.  I'm going to make you cry and wish you never heard of Insanity."
*whimpers* I don't even know what to say about yesterday.  Heck, the reason why it happened yesterday and I'm only blogging today is that I wasn't even sure my body was going to make it.  I scraped almost all the skin off my elbows and I could barely lift my arms up over my head today. 
But good news? It's going to make me stronger.  I just know it.  I just have to stick with it.  I can do it.  You know what yesterday was?  My weakest recovery workout.  
You know what today wasn't?  My strongest Interval Circuit.  Yesterday completely kicked. my. butt.  I had nothing to give.  But I stuck it through.  I'm pretty sure though that I I didn't finish any of the circuits.  I just couldn't.  Everything felt like a struggle.  When I couldn't pull through, I got up and jogged.  So, basically I jogged for a long time.
It wasn't the same as the first time I did this workout.  I felt really disappointed because each time is supposed to be better than the last and it just wasn't.  
And I was so proud of myself for being able to do push ups.  Insanity said, HOLD UP.  You can do one KIND of push up.  Plank push ups...where your elbows go back instead of sideways?  I got ZERO game.  I faceplanted going down and I had noodle arms and couldn't even push myself back up.  GAH!!
So new goal this month.  I'm GOING to do plank push ups! My elbows are going to go back if it's the last thing I do and my face will NOT eat wooden floors.
Alright, y'all.  I put my time in and now it's time to focus on the rest of my life.  
I'm also learning that all of this...life...lifestyle change...it's all about balance.  I know this past couple of months I've been really focused.  I've been afraid to do anything different.  To venture away from anything.  I freak out of things don't go as scheduled and I feel guilty and while it's ben getting some good results, it can't last.  The whole point of all of this is to make it last.  Because it's not a diet.  It's not just doing something only for a little while.  It's being able to maintain.  It's about being able to balance.  To make good choices and but to relax a little.  Freaking out about going over calories, even by a few hundred or so...it's not healthy.  I don't want to be afraid of food.  I figure it can't be developing a good relationship with food.   So now, besides trying to live through each workout, I'm adding something more.  I'm trying to balance.
So no more letting my husband pick up the slack for everything.  I've got to get back to real life and unfortunately, real life includes chores and cleaning and grocery shopping.
Real life also includes going out on a date with my husband tonight :) We're going to wander around Chapters while holding hands and look through some cool books.
Have a great night, y'all! 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Insanity Day 37: Shut. The. Front. Door

Okay, so somewhere along the way, my counting got messed up and apparently I'm on day 37.  At least, that's how many check marks my calendar has.  So in case you're wondering whether I missed the counting lessons in kindergarten, I know it looks like I just jumped up from 34! *LOL*

So, remember when I was on here waxing all poetic about how proud I was of myself and how awesome it was to see me improve from Day 1 and blaaaah blah blah.  Timewarp.  I'm back at Day 1.  Today was beyond HARD, y'all.  It was insane and it was painful.

Painful, how so?  I face planted.

There were moments where my body was like, "WTF is happening?"

Let me backtrack a second though to my last comment.  I still am proud of myself, don't get me wrong, that hasn't changed, but just as I was getting used to feeling strong and accomplished, Insanity switches it up and takes it up a knotch.  Which of course I know is what's supposed to happen.  Gotta mix things up, keep my muscles guessing and all.  But it's no fun *pouts*

There were also a LOT of push-ups in this one.  Considering my push-up count was all of ZERO about a month ago, there were a LOT.  Level 3 Drills is 32 push-ups.  When he said that, I was like, "but I can only do 15..." *LOL* So where was I on the second set of push-ups? Back on my knees. Bah.

But hey...how can I measure improvement if I don't suck at something first, right?  So I'm considering this my challenge.  30 days from now, I want to look back on this post and laugh at the fact that I couldn't do about 65% of this DVD.  I want to remind myself 30 days from now how I had zero squat push-ups (really, Shaun T? Putting TWO of my LEAST favourite moves together in one?), zero side twisty whatever push-ups, that psychotic push-up balance thingy...that was all NADA!
...and that's cool.  This girl has gotta start somewhere.  Heck, I'm writing history for myself RIGHT. THIS. MOMENT.

 Because this is the last time I will be at this place.  Tomorrow I will improve or I will be on my way to improvement.  I mean, there's nowhere to go but up if I keep at it, right?

I noticed that there wasn't that much cardio in this one.  At least, not conventional cardio.  You still get your heartrate up, but it's not just from jumping and flailing around or jogging or wiggling or whatever.  Now the calorie burns are coming from the moves that perhaps are done slower, but need to be done deeper, longer, lower, stronger.  I'm telling you, I feel ALL of my abs and obliques EVERY single time I do a push-up.  So no, I'm not running/jogging, but the heart rate is going crazy just trying to keep everything in check.  The squats aren't just oh alright, let's go down into a squat.  It's get your butt down there, control it and then push up and then sink right back down.  Squat pushups, to keep from falling flat on your face, you want to squat down as low as possible to have the best control and form to get down to the floor without slamming your palms and wrists into the ground.  Squat, squat, squat.  Ugh.

I'm definitely going to be feeling my shoulders, chest and arms tomorrow, that's for sure.  But you know what?  I'm gonna keep at it and the next go around, I'm going to be better.  Definitely want to work on my tricep push-ups though.
I can NOT wait for recovery day!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Insanity Day 34: ihdgk3u[t69dkjg

Sorry, I was trying to type out a title but all the little black spots dancing in front of my vision seem to have hindered my keyboarding skills.

HOLY HANNAH!!!

Shaun T must be a wanted criminal because he just assassinated a lot of calories in my body.

That. Was. TOUGH!

I don't even know where my mind is anymore or if I didn't just hallucinate that I was doing the workout because it just seems so unreal that I could have made it through!  I think I got through the entire warm-up without stopping.  I loved that it was different from the first month's warm-up but still got me sweaty in a jiffy!  Every little difference from the first month to now is totally registering...like being able to actually DO an entire set of jumping jacks whereas before, I couldn't even get through a few seconds' worth.

Yesterday's fit test/assessment at the gym caught up with me though because I had a hard time with the push-ups in this DVD workout.  And there were a lot of moves that I was definitely feeling my abs in. Which I will attribute to the situps I had to do yesterday.

Oh, CONFESSION: I didn't do the Insanity Fit Test today! *wince* I forgot about it and was already into the actual workout and although I could have stopped it since I wasn't in so far, I didn't.  I figured, enh, I just had a fit test.  So I had BETTER have REALLY good improvement numbers the next fit test go around.  That's all I'm sayin'! *LOL*

I could really feel the difference and impact that the extended workout time has from this month's workout to last.  An hour is LONG, yo!  It's that timing bar at the bottom killing it for me again!  I'm working it and I'm getting it in and I think, my goodness, I've got to be done by now and a quick glance up at the screen, and WHAT?! I still have another half hour to go?! What else could he POSSIBLY do to me that won't kill me if I keep going!?

Oooooh, there's lots more.  Though I do have to say that I really love the "ski abs/push up jacks/in-out/oblique push up" move.  I mean, I could barely do more than one set of it, but how can you not feel like G.I. frickin' Jane while doing it?  I wanted to get up and be like..."WHOO-RAAAH!"  Maybe instead of an "I earned it" T-Shirt, we should be getting dog tags after completing the program! *LOL*  Doing some of the moves really had me feeling like I should be having a "be all that you can be" moment!

I'm also really feeling my quads today.  Today's workout coupled with my maiden voyage on Jacob's Ladder yesterday has got me feeling muscles that I thought I had already met.  May I just wander off the path for a minute and comment about how intense that ladder machine is!  When I first joined the gym and was taking the tour (prior to my awesome assessment session /sarcasm) the tour guide pointed out the two Jacob's Ladders they had sitting smack dab in the middle of the gym floor surrounded by all the other treadmills and ellipticals.  She said that it would probably look familiar to me if I watched The Biggest Loser.  I didn't and had no idea what it was but she mentioned that they were quick calorie burners so that caught my attention.  Two, almost three months later and I'm finally getting around to pushing past the intimidation I feel even just thinking about it.  People have told me that this ladder is HARRRD.

And YES.  IT.  WAS.  I'd like to proudly say that I contributed my own sweat tracks to the tracks under the ladder rungs.  I didn't even think I could stick it out for a MINUTE.  I felt it EVERYWHERE and it was really a mental effort to keep telling my mind to keep my muscles moving, pulling up one foot to step one run up after the other.  It wasn't Insanity, but it sure as heck was CRAZY!  The other thing about it is that I mentioned is that it's right in the middle of the gym.  For EVERYONE to see.  You have to climb like you're actually climbing a ladder, one rung up at a time, feet and hands climbing and for the first second, you're kind of conscious that your butt is kind of up in the air for everyone to see.  And then the second is over and all you're concerned about is just not dying and even then, you're kind of wishing for it to happen so that the ladder would just. please. STOP.   I went 25 minutes in total, but in 5 minute intervals with some long-ish breaks in between.  I'd say I got in about 4 5-minute intervals with 4 1-minute breaks though some were longer than others.  That ladder is intense, y'all.  Wasn't pleased that I got the bright idea to try it for the first time the day before I was set to start Month 2 of Insanity for the first time.

I've worked out and then I've worked out hard.  But today is the first time I can officially say that every stitch of my clothing was drenched in sweat.  Sorry if that's a little TMI, but I type that proudly.  Each drop showed I gave it as much of myself as I could give.  I grunted and groaned and shrieked with the best of those folks on the screen and then I dug deeper and went just a little bit harder...right before I stopped for a water break...or just to double over and blink my vision back into focus.

Now that it's over and the pain and intensity seem to be fading from my memory, I'm starting to get mad at myself that I didn't go harder, but I'm pretty sure that I went as hard as I could for today.  Every time I had to stop, there wasn't a time where I just said that was that.  That's it for me.  I took a break but I came back, even if it was for the last ten seconds to finish out the set, I came back and I finished each set.  And the floor switch kicks? (I don't know if they're actually called that), a month ago, I couldn't even lift my hips up off the floor and today I managed to be able to switch kick it the best that I could while taking some breaks in between.  Me!!! Little, round me!

I ended up going through two 24 oz bottles of water plus my recovery drink by the time the workout was through and I'm really feeling proud of myself.  I'm getting to watch and live through my own little history in the making.  I'm doing something worthwhile for myself and it feels so. frickin'. good. :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Insanity Day 31 - 33: Re-assess and Reflect

It's pretty awesome how things seemed to line up pretty well schedule-wise. This past week I finished my Core Cardio & Balance Week and today I had my two-month assessment at the gym.  So it worked out pretty well that I was able to get that assessment in before the second part of Insanity starts.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned on here already that my first assessment wasn't the greatest experience for me.  Sure I knew it wasn't going to be a glowing report about my health but the fitness consultant's transparent goal to get me to sign up for personal training sessions and her strategy of making me feel awful about myself to get me there had me leaving the gym just wanting to cancel my one-day old membership and heading to the nearest chicken nugget supplier to stuff my face.

Instead, I had some AWESOME friends who told me to forget her and focus on proving to her that she was wrong.  That I don't need at least 100 personal training sessions to even get close to my goal weight.  They told me to prove her wrong by showing her that it won't take at least 77 weeks to get close to my goal weight.  And that once I hit that goal weight (which incidentally is still too high for my height) I could celebrate that I got there and shatter that goal if I wanted to.  And they told me for the icing on this proverbial revenge cake, that I could do all of this and show her - all without a personal trainer.  They told me I could.  They told me they would help. And I can because they are.

I walked into her office today 21 pounds lighter than when I walked out of there two months ago. Based on all the measurements in the areas she took, I also walked in there down 18.75 inches in total and with 4% less body fat than the last time I was there.

She asked what changes I had made since the last time I was in her office and I talked MFP up like I invented it.  Not only was I proud of myself, I was proud of this community.  For existing solely for the purpose of helping people achieve what they want to achieve and not asking for anything in return.  She asked if I was sticking to my committment to coming to the gym three times a week and I said not lately since I was finding I was getting in a lot of workouts and exercise all on my own at home and out and about without having to come in.  I just became accountable to myself and to my friends IRL and here on MFP who told me that I could do it.

And then she said that the first 20 pounds are the easiest to lose anyway and the real test would be losing the next 20. #facepalm.

I just had to turn my head and kind of laugh in disbelief a bit.  I guess people don't like to be proven wrong.  Although I really did try my best not to rub my personal trainer-less lifestyle in her face.  It's not like I said anything negative about them.  I just wanted to prove that it wasn't for me and it would have been good of her to get to know me even a LITTLE bit before telling me that that was the only way to achieve what I had set out for myself.  She scheduled this follow-up solely because I said no to the personal training sessions the first time around and she said that she would schedule a follow up to assess how I do working out by myself and if the results aren't great and I really did care about my health, that I would then need to sit down with my husband and re-arrange our finances to make personal training a priority for me.
 
After we tallied up the results of this second assessment, instead of telling me she recommends 100 personal training sessions for me like she did last time, she changed it to perhaps I only need one session a week now, just to focus on my strength training since that's where I did the least amount of improvement on.  I politely declined and we closed up the assessment and she did not offer to schedule another follow-up to see where I'm at in the next two months.

I left with a smile on my face.  Not because I feel like I did end up being able to prove to her that in my case, she was wrong about the personal training and I didn't take to heart her comment about my journey to losing these 20 pounds to be the easiest.  I left because whatever she or anybody else can say, or how they say it, the numbers on the piece of printed paper I took with me don't lie.  They don't have a particular tone of voice or a certain attitude or an agenda or a weekly quota of having to sell PT sessions.  The numbers just say it like it is.  And my numbers have negatives in front of them.  And my paper has lots of 'em.

At the end of the day, it's not about her anymore.  Yes she made me angry and yes, maybe I can give her the credit that her making me angry really pushed me, but I hope that  I was just being too sensitive over news I didn't like and that she doesn't actually come across that way to other people.  Because perhaps the next person who feels that she treated them like that won't have as great a support network of friends like I do.  Perhaps they haven't had a chance to find MFP where people will tell them that yes, they CAN do it but also provide constructive, honest criticism and positive reinforcement and support stories, too.  And maybe that person will end up where I wanted to run - which was the nearest fast food joint and just call it a day.

It's funny though, thinking about her comment about the first 20 pounds being the easiest to lose.  Because I've been on the fence about that.  There are some days where I've felt like the last 60+ days have been the hardest 60+ days of my life.  Every day trying to figure out what I can eat.  How many calories is in something before I put it anywhere near my mouth.  Having to try to blend with everyone else during social functions and trying not to call attention to the fact that I can't order what everyone else is ordering.  I can't conform to how everyone else is eating.  Ordering water when everyone else is ordering whatever they want.  Placing the longest order and probably being a server's least favourite customer because I have to ask for things to be put on the side, or hold this or that, or can you substitute this for that?

Waking up at 5:30 in the morning on some days because I know the rest of the day will be busy and there will be no time for any kind of workout later on.  Having to figure out what other things aren't as important and that can be ignored for a while or having to let my husband pick up the slack on the things I'm not doing because I'm trying to "find the time" to make my health a priority.  Having to say no to family or social get-togethers because I need to fit a workout in or because everything else that I've had to let slide around me has finally piled up and I still need to find the time to do them.  Trying to find a balance between being prepared and NOT borderline obsessive about weighing food, knowing portion sizes, prepping food ahead of time for the week and then having to order something and trying not to freak out because I've lost control over what's being put into my meal.  Getting my butt up and moving when all I feel like doing is spending time with my husband or my family.  Keeping moving when all I want to do is pass out.  Not being sure whether it's sweat or tears running down my face because I'm trying to push myself as much as I can.  Being scared to go to the bathroom because it means I'll have to try to sit on the toilet and my quads are already on fire and I may not be able to get back up.

It's funny because none of that seemed all that easy.  To have someone so flippantly say it to me like it was and like I shouldn't dare feel as proud of myself as I do for having done it for the last two months, like it was no big deal...
Then again, maybe it's true.  Maybe losing twenty is no big deal and perhaps my journey to the next twenty pounds will reach a standstill.  Maybe all the work that I feel like I've put in is nothing to what I'm going to have to do now to even lose a couple pounds. Perhaps this consultant isn't here to mollycoddle me but tell me things the way that they are and I'm just being too sensitive.

Let's say none of that matters.

Ten pounds, twenty pounds.  I've decided that in the long run, it no longer matters.  I'm going to keep going because I've promised myself that this is a lifestyle change.  My priority is no longer how much I weigh, but how I feel about what I put into my body and how I feel about what I do to and with my body.

I have been re-assesed and now I'm reflecting.  I remember exactly how I felt during the first day of Insanity.  I could barely do any of the sets that was illustrated to me on the TV.  And now I'm doing everything that those people on the TV are doing.  How much I weigh or not, there's been a difference in me and about me.  Before I couldn't and now I can.   That's all there is to it.  If my new goal for this new lifestyle of mine is to continuously try to turn everything that I can't do into something that I can, everything else follows.  If the food I'm eating doesn't allow me to change the can't I'm working on into a can, then it has to go.  If the food I'm eating is helping me change my can't into a can, then clearly it's the right thing to be eating.  If in the time I continue to attempt changing my can'ts into cans cause me to lose weight and tone muscles, etc. then it's an awesome bonus.

Two months ago, I couldn't do ONE push-up.  So that was one of my main goals.  I wasn't even thinking about the food I needed to eat.  I just knew that the next time I was asked to do a push-up, that I would be able to do it.  Today I did 15.  And these are sans knees push-ups y'all.

Anywho, I feel like my mind has gotten away from me and I'm just rambling and we all know how long my posts are already.  33 days in to Insanity and 60 days into this lifestyle change and all I can say for me is that I will keep going.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Insanity Day 30: Buuuurn!

It was probably the wrong time to pick up the kettlebell set.  I haven't had a chance to really bond with my set since my arms feel like spaghetti noodles after my "recovery" week workout! *LOL*

Gonna keep this one short today since I'm feeling pretty wiped.

Went out for our almost 5k walk at lunch and forgot my HRM again! DOH!

Ah well, I peeked at the exercises and did a best guess at how fast we were going and it ranged from higher 200s to 300s.  So it's good to have an idea of what I burned.  The squats from last night really made themselves known during the walk though.  I was TOTALLY feeling my butt, quads and the backs of my thighs and my ARMS!

With the FuelBand, I usually do some jogging in place while pumping my arms and I couldn't do much today since my arms and shoulders were sore!

Felt them even more today but while I didn't burn as many calories as I did yesterday, I noticed that I got through a LOT farther without having to take a break!  I think the first time I didn't do an entire set was...oh the hip flexor workouts.  I got all the way up until I had to pulse the knee up.  Had to put my foot down and holy moly, it buuuuuuurns usssss!  Two points if you know where that one came from!

So for the next couple of days, I'll be working on trying to get farther and farther into the workout without stopping mid-set.  I did get a lot farther on the last set with the arm workout, but I had to stop during the up and down arms right before making the small forward circles.  Wow.

I love how a lot of these workouts are really just simple moves that you look at and think, 'what!? that looks so easy!' except when you get down to it, you realize that it works you pretty hard.  So I like it that it reminds me that sometimes it doesn't have to be all flash and show to be effective.

I'm also loving the walking plank.  Even though he said it's mainly working on the chest and shoulders, I love how I can totally feel it in my obliques - especially since sometimes I have moments where we're doing oblique work and I don't actually feel anything.  Walking plank?  I DEFINITELY do!

So there it is.  Day THIRTY.  It took me a LOT longer to get 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Insanity Day 29: My Butt Hurts

SRSLY. And I'd never even met my hip flexors until Insanity.  Now Shaun T wants me to meet it and greet it EVERY workout.  My hip flexors kind of hate me.

...and my buns? They don't feel nothin' like stee-yul!

Two points to anyone who can tell me where that came from! *LOL*

I mentioned yesterday that I went for a walk at lunch yesterday and at lunch today I spent a majority of it running around chasing after a frisbee, so I got in a good calorie burn though I didn't track it (secret bonus calorie deficit!)  I got back at lunch and I was wondering out loud to my coworker that even after all this working out I've been doing, I can't believe my body and hurt so much just from running and walk around at lunch.

It completely slipped my mind that I started a new portion of the Isanity program.  My body has probably gotten used to the first month of the program but definitely not this week's workout and I think THIS is the reason why different things are hurting and burning, including my arms, shoulders, obliques and  yeeeeeeep, my butt!!!

The long yeeeep came from the fact that my husband is watching Storage Wars right now.  

But even with only a week of this workout, I can see a little bit of improvement!  I was able to burn more calories this workout compared to yesterdays and in less time!  Hopefully I'll be able to keep increasing my burn with every day that comes, though I'm not sure.

The last couple of days, I've just been feeling SO tired.  Yesterday I mentioned I had to drag myself to get moving and today, I actually passed out on the couch for a bit with one sock on and one sock off while I was getting dressed to work out.  The Insanity program plus my FuelBand is really kicking my butt! *LOL* I honestly can't rest until I've at least met my goal or soaked it.  Lately, I've been aiming to ice my goal.

If you don't understand FuelBand lingo yet, soaking your goal is meeting your daily goal and then beating it by 50%.  Icing it is doubling your goal.  At this time, my goal is 3000 and yesterday with the lunch hour walk included, I was able to ice my goal for the first time and I think it's totally tuckering me out! *LOL*

CONFESSION: I had a little moment today despite the fact that I can tell that I'm making progress.  For some reason, I can't SEE it through my progress pics.  Everything looks the same and it SUCKS!

I'm a quantifiable results kind of girl (checkmarks, numbers, stats) and this includes pictures to me and it kind of disappoints me sometimes that I can't really see any significant differences from my first picture at the start of my journey to now.

I haven't posted this EVER and I'm still probably going to pull it, but here's my progression pictures so far.


 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! *COVERS EYES*

Monday, November 19, 2012

Insanity Day 29: Cardio Balance and WHAT Recovery?!?

So I could say that I did just what Shaun T said to do in the video when he said to just work but not to feel beat up and to take it easy because it's recovery week but that would be liiiiies!

I "took it easy" because this was TIRING! *LOL*

I think I can go hard and quick and flailing, but when you slow the moves down and control them using core and muscle groups? Ugh...I was shaky and wobbly!

I was also starting to think that I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of finishing the first month of Insanity.  I think the celebration and announcing it to everyone (including everyone on Facebook *wince*) had my body feeling like it was over.  I gotta say, it was REALLY hard to get back into it.  My head was saying, "Okay, body, let's get back into it." and my body was like, "Say whaaat? We already finished! We celebrated and announced it and everything!"

I was supposed to start up again on Saturday, but I shuffled and puttered around the house and I just could NOT get it together.  I ended up taking a rest day - not to excuse myself, but I think I was kind of due one - so I tried not to feel too bad about it.  I kept it in mind that Sunday was Ultimate Frisbee day and I made sure to GIVE 'ER at the game.  Sucky me completely forgot my HRM so I had to take a best guesstimate of my calories based on how much I normally burn.  I usually average over 500 or more (though not less than 600) and even though I knew I went hard, I docked off 100 points and just logged myself 400.

Today my friend and co-worker Tara messaged me early this morning about going for a walk at lunch time and I said yes.  I felt even better when she told our other co-workers that we were going for a stroll at lunch, so I was like, okay.  I'm definitely up for a stroll.  It was such a nice day and we got out there swinging our arms like crazy monkeys!  We both got FuelBands so it's been a really hilarious competition so far!  But she TRICKED MEEEEE! It was DEFINITELY not a stroll!

She started jogging and I was like, HEY!!! In our lunch hour - even when we used to do the C25K program during lunch hours - we went farther!  We hit 4.38k in 50 minutes! Say whaaaat?!  Because I thought it was just a stroll, I didn't bring my HRM either and I didn't even try to log it.  I figure whatever calories I burned will just be there without trying to eat it back - although I know there's a certain teeny, tiny tub of Skinny Cow icecream in the freezer calling me name!

After my workout I was sitting here stretching thinking about the kettlebells that I saw the other day.  If you know me by now, you know that my mind has been a busy bee.  It can't rest when it wants something!  I had recently seen a set at Walmart but it was about $60 and considering my splurge on the FuelBand, I couldn't really drop that much on them just yet - especially considering that I've never used any before and I don't reeeeally know what to do with them, though I have an idea...

I figured I hadn't checked Canadian Tire out yet, so with 15 minutes to go before closing time, I zoomed out of the house and into the nearest CT and out I came with a kettlebell set! YAAAAAY!!! And these ones were only $40 for the set!

Awwww yeah!  Thank goodness this one came with a DVD.  At least I can use that and get an idea of what I can do with these!  Can't wait to get STRONG!  If you haven't heard, skinny is good, but STRONG is the new SEXAAAAY!  Can't wait to get strong AND smexy! 

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Insanity Day 27: 50% DONE

...and 100% certain I am in need of a chiropractor!

Perhaps I should have actually re-booked my appointment when I missed it a couple of months ago.  Plyo circuit kind of insists that I need it!
 
But who cares?!  I am HALFWAY through INSANITY!  For lack of a better word, it's INSANE!!!

I am feeling so pumped right now, I even managed to DOUBLE my NikeFuel for today!  As the app would say, I ICED IT, baby!  Vanilla Ice has got nothin' on me, cuz this girl is on FIRE!  Can you tell I've been listening to the radio, I've got million thoughts and songs running through my head at warp speed right now!

So halfway through and before I start the recovery week (which incidentally, looks more tiring than the workouts from this past month!) I thought I'd have a peek at my starting stats and compare them to this week's check in on Wednesday!

Starting StatsWeight: 199.2 lbs
Waist: 43 in
Hips: 43 in
Bust: 46 in
Left Thigh: 25 in
Neck: 15 in
Shoulder: 22.5 in
Left Bicep: 13 in

50% Done Stats
Weight: 183.8 lbs (-15.4)
Waist: 41.75 in (-1.25)
Hips: 44 in (+1)
Bust: 44 in (-2)
Left Thigh: 24.25 in (-.75)
Neck: 14.25 in (-.75)
Shoulders: 21.25 in (-1.25)
Left Bicep: 14.5 in (+1.5)

w00t!!! *insert Arsenio Hall whoo whoo whoo here*

So let's bust out my rusty math skills here, shall I?

 I am 15.4 pounds down since I started.  Of course, can't attribute it all solely to Insanity since there was kickboxing and Ultimate Frisbee in there, but I'd have to say it was definitely a BIG part of it!  And although it's not moving as fast as I'd like, the tape is cinching slowly but surely...except for those two areas, which I don't mind about the bicep because I'm hoping it's MUUUUUSCLE I'm building there, but weird about the hips and sad that I seem to be losing the most in the girls, but... Ah, well, what's a girl to do!

I am feeling so insanely proud of myself right now.  I haven't even gotten through the first cycle and I'm already planning my second Insanity cycle already!  Numbers and tapes and scales aside, I know there's marked differences.  I feel awesome when I can notice the difference between how I feel and move from the first day I popped that Plyo DVD into my player from today.  It took 4 weeks to get there but I just did three Insanity workouts in a row without having to take a break during the warm up and with each day and workout that passes, I'm getting further and further through while taking less breaks.  I feel stronger, I feel capable and I feel AWESOME.  The girl in the mirror keeps winking at me and trying to give me high fives and I can't help but return them!

I'm pondering whether or not I should take a rest day tomorrow or just jump whole hog into the recovery week, but I had a bit of time before I had to step out earlier this evening, so I put in the Cardio Balance and Recovery and I didn't see anything 'recovery' in that work out.  In fact, it looks WAY harder! *LOL*  Nothing like a little fear before the start of another month of workouts!  I don't even care, this is GOOD fear, I think.  I don't care what I'll look like or feel when I start it because I know that if I can give as good as I can get, the improvements will speak for itself.

Honestly, I thought I was doing Insanity JUST to lose weight and look cute in tiny outfits, but it's become so much more than that.  I am finding that I am LOVING feeling this week.  It's not about shrinking and seeing smaller numbers on the scale - though it's an AWESOME bonus.  It's just knowing the girl I used to be and how lazy and unaccomplished and lackadaisical she was and then getting to know THIS girl.  The one who's still lazy about working out but pushes past that and gets 'er done anyway. The one who is starting to learn the value of hard work and the meaning of putting in the work now to get REAL rewards later, not just cheap rewards that taste good for ten minutes.

I'm still not perfect and there's still a lot that I don't know but the girl I used to be is keeping the girl I'm becoming humble even throughout all the pride I know I've earned so far.  Because I know that anything can happen and that bad days will come and go and sometimes my will to succeed in this may not always be stronger than my will to eat a bag of chips.  But I'm also learning to forgive myself along the way and just keep going and the things that I'm learning throughout this journey fitness-wise isn't just containing itself in this one area of my life.  It's spilling out into the rest of days and principles.  Because I can forgive myself for the small mistakes I'm making throughout my journey, I'm finding I can overlook other people's mistakes because everyone makes them (for the most part).  Because I am finding that even when my head says 'no, I can't', I can learn that I'm wrong, when someone else tells me, 'no, you can't', I know I can find a way to prove THEM wrong.

Not to sound like an infomercial, but I'm finding I really DO have more energy to get other stuff done and be more productive and that's pretty cool too.

Anyway, looks like my endorphin kick is running out of steam and it's creeping closer to midnight!  Gonna try to releax a bit and get some sleep and hopefully I'll be able to get out of bed and move my body tomorrow! Gotta remind myself that it was SO worth it!

Thanks for sticking it out with me.  I know I talked a lot about myself and what I did on my own in this post, but it will ALWAYS go without saying that whatever I've found that I can do, half of it is ALWAYS because of the encouragement that I have been getting from my friends and family and the new friends and family I'm making HERE on MFP.  I can't even explain in words enough how it feels to have friends like you, but I think since we're all in this journey together, you already have an idea of how I'm feeling.  But just in case, *BIG GIANT HUGS* comes pretty close!
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