Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Unsent Letters

Dear Dirty Thief,

Thanks for seeing my Polar heart rate monitor strap and transmitter and NOT turning it in.  I hope you are haunted by dreams of it coming to life and strangling you while you are sleeping so that you will never know a good night's rest EVER.  Or that I somehow had some kind of weird, diseased sweat fungus that I left on the strap and you are now totally infected by it and that you get gangrene on all your sensitive bits and you forever smell like rotting cottage cheese.   That's what should happen to people like you.  Enjoy the transmitter and strap.  I hope you think of me when karma comes back to bite you in your dishonest, sneaky, dirty self.

Sincerely,
Legitimate Heart Rate Monitor strap/transmitter Owner

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