Friday, August 20, 2010

Of dogs and pigeons and other things yoga...

So yesterday was....umm...I'm trying to remember! *LOL*  It's weird how once I started trying to run and build endurance, if it's not about running, I'm not all that focused on it!

Oh, right!

Yesterday was Subway's free breakfast sandwich promotion.  My friend sent me a text that morning and when I read it, I was mildly interested, but was able to disregard it - or so I thought.  I drive to work...hmmm, no Subways around here...I get to work....I wonder what KIND of breakfast sandwich was free....sit down at my desk....this hardboiled egg doesn't really look as good as that free breakfast sandwich sounds...get up from my chair, grab my keys and a co-worker and before I know it, we're in line to get FREE breakfast sandwiches!  OBVIOUSLY it has way less calories than a real breakfast sandwich because of the FREE!  So obviously it's a win-win situation.  Obviously.

In the end, it only ended up being...meh.  I think they were all buckling under the pressure of trying to get everyone a free sandwich and out the door because they were throwing stuff onto it haphazardly and shoving them in bags and in our hands.  I mean, we couldn't even choose what we wanted on the darn thing.  They put green peppers on them and when I said I didn't want green peppers on mine, the guy swiped it off, plopped the (cold) english muffin top on and practically hiked it to me.  No mayo, no nothing.  It was like Subway should have said, have a free breakfast sandwich but we need to save the money we're losing by not giving you any condiments. *LOL* I know I shouldn't be complaining, I mean, free is free, right?!  Ah well....a little morning justification from yours truly and we head on into the evening!

My gym was having an open house event starting yesterday and it's pretty much open to the public for ONE WHOLE WEEK.  Anyone can come in and feel free to use the facilities (I figure they'll harrass you later once you've enjoyed the membership and try to get you to sign up) but I digress!  The good news about this is that my friend Melissa was able to get her one week membership and come to yoga class with me!!!  I was telling her about the Tuesday class I went to and how much different it was than that weirdo hot yoga one last week and she seemed pretty excited to give it a try! YAY!

First though, my second day of miCoach training!

...Ugh.  I don't know what it was, if it was my legs or if it was just running outside or something, but it. was. HARD!  I get it going and again, it was so hard for me to stay in the blue zone!  First I'm moving too fast, then when I try to slow down, I'm over-compensating and it's TOO slow.  She pretty much spoke sternly to me the WHOLE blue zone time.  Then hitting up the green zone and yellow zone sprints!  It was like I was back at C25K's W1D1 or something!  I was huffing and puffing along trying to contemplate running suicide to make it all end and that was pretty embarrassing considering the training plan is only sixteen minutes long!

Aaaaaaargh!!! Do you SEE that!?!?!  It's an 89%! I don't GET 89%!  It totally took me by surprise and may I just INTERJECT right now and say that I did NOT slow down or walk like that graph is indicating that I did in the last part of the blue zone an the first part of the green zone! Psh!  I didn't stop ONCE and do you know why?!  Because of this said graph!  While I was running and entertaining thoughts of just throwing in the towel for today, I was thinking to myself that I couldn't even slow down or try to cheat because my chart would show otherwise!!!  I couldn't have a non-aesthetic looking chart and what does it give me? Garbage!  I didn't slow down on those zones enough to justify those drops! *LOL*  It's an environmentally built-in kind of thing for me...I'm highly affronted by an 89%. 

I remember back in middle school or high school when I brought home grades like that, or a 95% my parents would just look at it and ask where the other 5% went.  Now before you get all gasp-y and distraught about my parents, let me just say that that's what worked for me.  Like with my C25K running chart, I needed to see some kind of re-inforcement to push me to do even better or continue what I was doing.  Consider it that my parents were just pointing out the jumping off-point to begin getting higher grades.  I GUESS I'll have to figure that even though I ran half an hour (I guess mostly on a treadmill so there's my first kick in the butt right there!), it doesn't mean that I'm going to be any good at this training plan from the get-go.  It's like I'm the newbie all over again!  Hopefully, this will mark the start of the proof of my improvement (HOPEFULLY! It better!) and I'll look back on this in a few weeks and laugh at myself for finding this hard (I BETTER!!!!)

So for myself, the way miCoach is handling this training is DEFINITELY my kind of training plan.  Knowing that there is a visual goal that I have to attest to and be....crap, I ALWAYS forget this word! I can't remember what word I want to use here...when I have to's like you know when you tell someone something so that you know you have to do it because if you don't, then they'll know you didn't do it? UGH, what's that word?!?!  My mind keeps giving me atonement and obviously my mind is a moron right now....

Anyway, knowing that there will be a visual graph that will show the results of my effort really helped me to keep going even though the only thing I wanted to do was quit and knowing (now, anyway) that I will be given a "grade" will only ensure that I push myself harder so that I can get higher marks!

I'm still trying to remember that word...I can't FOCUS because I WANT that WORD! HA!!! ACCOUNTABILITY!!! Psssh...atonement.  Me thinks I've been hanging out with the religious folks too often!  There....the graph and the grade keeps me ACCOUNTABLE for my runs (couldn't help but giggle when I read through this sentence.  Yes, sometimes I'm eight).  Knowing that Tara will want to see them and knowing that I will get to see the results after ensures that I try to do my best to get the best possible results!

So anywho...that's that.  When I logged into my dashboard it didn't even say I had "NEW ACHIEVEMENTS" and that was kind of a let-down but definitely motivates me to give it more grrrrrr next time!  Yeah, another thing for people like me.  The dashboard also gives out awards.  There's a "medal" for going the farthest distance, the longest time, fastest pace, etc.!  Seriously, why haven't you downloaded miCoach yet?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWHO!  Run is over, what's run is run, graphed is graphed, etc.!  It's yoga time!

I get to the gym and we're setting up shop in the room, laying down our mats, chit-chatting about the class and the rest of our day (since we last talked at 4:00 pm to whatever happened since then...the class was at 6:30 pm) *LOL* You'd think we'd be sick of each other!  So we're just chatting away, and next thing you know, we hear a bunch of "SHHHH's!" WHAT?!!?!?! Oh come ON!!! The class hasn't even STARTED YET!?!!?!  Give me a break you meditating weirdos!  So we stare at each other in shock and start to laugh again, but SILENTLY and we settle in for some yoga action.  I stare up at the front of the class and I'm looking at the guy on stage and I'm feeling a little disappointed that it's not the same instructor as Tuesday, because crack-pot words and sentences, I still enjoyed that class for some reason.  The weird stuff she said seemed to fit her.

Not so for this buck-o!  He was just....*makes a face*

Let's just put it this way.  Melissa, the nicest most polite person I have ever known (she doesn't even swear as much as I know!) was laughing into her arms and making "can you believe this guy" faces at me in the mirror.  The downside to that was that everyone else was facing the same mirror so they could probably see her...the upside to that was that they're the same bunch of meditating weirdos that were actually BUYING the stuff this guy was saying so they were really focused and even had their eyes closed and stuff.  Me, I caught myself just staring at the guy with my face all slack and my jaw just hanging open with my WTF look.  I mean, I think I'm really starting to like yoga and all for the stretches and the moves, but why does everyone feel they have to be all hokey about it!

EVERY stretch we were doing the guy would gush out stuff like, "Doesn't that feel A-MAAAAAAZING?" "Yup, feel that stretch, oh it feels so gooooood" and I'm like, buddy, we're not having sex here, just stretch your arms and shut up!  But nope!  On he went...he was talking about his new job and having to sit in a chair a majority of the day and now it feels sooooo good to open up his hips and his pelvis like I really gave two shits about his hips and his pelvis!  In my head, I'm thinking if you can't pull off the quacky mind, body, the heart is your soul and breathe your soul and soak in energy mumbo jumbo, I think the class would be better off if you just showed us what to do and kept your mouth shut.  *LOL* I sound like SUCH a bitch, but I swear...I was NOT buying it.

We get down into...what else? Downward dog and on he goes and he starts talking about sucking in breath and sending out energy through our knees and I kind of just fall back and I am pondering whether or not to raise my hand and be like..."When you say that, what does that really MEAN?! What are you DOING when you're sending out energy through your knees because I have no idea how you do that."  And I can't really concentrate all that much anymore because the only energy my body is REALLY wanting to send out (and forgive me for the TMI here) is a toot. 

YES.  I said it.  Don't pretend it's never happened to you, but all this time of bending over, clenching, unclenching, opening up the hips and I'm REALLY just needing to send a little energy out in the form air....down there.  How in the world can ANYONE concentrate when I'm clenching like something down there's been rigged like the bus on Speed and if I unclench, there's a bomb that's going to explode.  Seriously. SERIOUSLY!  You can attribute the look of extreme concentration on my face, not because I want to square my hips and lift my pelvis for the perfect pigeon pose, but because I'm trying not to let anything escape while I breeeathe and become one with my breeeeath and feel the eeeearth and how amaaaaazing it is and whatever else he was asking us to do.  I am proud to report that I did not have any sneaky air leaks nor anything thereafter as I guess I must have scared the crap out of my toot (bad pun?) and it kind of just went away.  But you can probably put together that I wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind to feel my soul and dance with my inner spirit or anything.  Meh...we'll try again on Tuesday.  And this time, maybe I'll NOT have the chocolate milk at lunch.... *blush*

Is it just me or did the yogis take a little too much meditative mushroom when they made up the poses.  Because all the animal poses we've done don't really remind me of the animals they're named after.  I mean, AGAIN, how's anyone supposed to concentrate when they're telling you to do a pigeon pose and you're looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking, "where the hell did they get a pigeon from THAT?" or move into downward dog and you're hanging there with your ass in the air thinking "my dog has never looked this way once..." 

*sighs* Who knows...I swear I don't mean to have such thoughts, but sometimes you can't really help them.  I do like one of the twists we did.  He had us cross our legs over each other and twist towards the mirror and I looked up and I was like, HOT TAMALES, I look GOOD!  But again, I think we were supposed to be centering our energy on our hearts or sending out energy through our ears at that time so my mind must have wandered again. 

I shall continue to try yoga and stretching as I'm told that it'll help with my running (so far, I don't see it as sometimes I'm feeling to sore and stiff from the stretching to really do much else with my legs, let alone running!) but I shall keep at it!  Maybe I can make myself a chart or something so I can satisfy my immediate gratification syndrome with a nice little check mark or happy face!  I'll get a happy face every time I don't get told to SHHH! in yoga! *LOL*

Alrighty, I guess I've gone on long enough.  Hope you all have a faaaabulous weekend!

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