Friday, July 16, 2010

Pep Talk...

"Puking, passing out or dying are the only three reasons to stop."
- Sarah F. (Facebook)

Ugh.  I kind of wish I had that quote on replay over and over again on my MP3 instead of that jackass of a guy that's on my C25K MP3 tracks.  His, "you're about halfway there, keep going!" isn't really all that inspiring when you're wishing you could throw yourself into the middle of traffic just to make it all stop.  Maybe I could E-Mail him and suggest he throw in those nuggets.  If I heard, "you're about halfway there, keep going! And remember, puking, passing out or dying are the only three reasons to stop!" that might be more helpful and realistic.

So, I'm sure it's almost needless to say that I didn't complete Week 5, Day 3 today.  Tara and I took our rest day yesterday in which I used up exercise time to clean the house like a madwoman to prepare for choir practice that we were hosting that evening, and then I went ahead and pigged the eff out of nahos.  Like, really.  They were *SO* good!  But I digress...

Anywho, by that insane hour reflected on my BB, I was dressed and getting ready to stretch before heading out the door.

I didn't have matching socks today. Maybe that's what brought me down.  Riiiiight...that's what I'll keep telling myself. *LOL*

Anywho, out the door I go and it's just nasty out there!  It rained last night and unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of rain that cools down the temperature.  It was the kind of rain that pretty much just floats up in the heat in humid, sticky air that pretty much envelopes you in mist.  I was already sticky even before I was halfway finished my five minute warm up walk.

To give myself a tiny bit of credit, I can REALLY feel a difference when I start out running.  I'm not completely dying after the first few minutes and I guess that's pretty good.  I have to keep reminding myself where I was coming from...but I also don't want to get stuck.  I was able to run eleven minutes straight before I had to give up and slow to a walk.  I was pretty much down to negotiating with myself to even get that last minute.  Once I hit the ten minute mark I was looking for things to run up.  I was like, "okay, just run up to that fire hydrant," and once I hit the fire hydrant, I'd tell myself, "oh wait, I meant that pole up there.  Run to that pole up there and then you can stop."  Once I got to the pole, I said, "Well, there's a guy coming towards you, you have to keep running by him because if you don't, he could grab you!" and then once I was past him I told myself that I had to keep going because he could still turn around and tackle me!  Once I had ascertained he was far enough behind, I lost all motivation to find something else to run to and I pretty much just went into my walk.

After that, I was kicking myself for stopping becuase it was SO much harder to get going again.  I walked for two minutes, picked up a five minute jog and walked for another two before I finished the last four minutes to make a twenty minute run.  *sighs*  Good news and bad news is that I got home and found out that Tara did her full twenty! Ugh.  I almost want to mutter "bitch" except for the fact that I'm really proud of her for getting it done!  Now that's drive, right there!  I need some of that!

...and a big ol' thumbs down for me.  Even though I can acknowledge that I wasn't like this five weeks ago...I still wish I had pushed myself a bit more.  Especially after Tara's got the run under her belt and ESPECIALLY after facing THIS:

NO check mark! *insert sad face here*  I need that check mark!  See how Day 2 has two check marks?  And Day 3 has NONE?  I will get my check mark and I WANT it before this week is up!  I was okay to repeat Day 3 until I got it, but I'd REALLY rather start Week 6 on my sixth week. I can do it, I just have to push through!

You know, if I were in Glee this would be the time where my fellow show choir peeps would sit me down in a chair and serenade me with their version of Cyndi Lauper's True Colours.

"You with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged, oh I realize
It's hard to take courage (run) in a world full of people (runners)
You can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you (Week 5, Day 3) can make you feel so small (like a failure)."

There'd be coloured lights and pleading, encouraging looks from my serenaders and by the end of the song, I'll feel all inspired and go out and run the 20 minutes straight in which they will feature it as a montage in slow motion with the choir still singing in the background and hitting the last dramatic lines of the song as I reach my goal.  Now that's good television!

In any case, it won't be today.  I was thinking I would head straight to the gym after work and try to make it through on a treadmill (I know, pretty much a cop-out, but twenty minutes is twenty minutes right now no matter what) but everyone here said that wasn't a good idea since my legs will probably still be tired and I still didn't reach my goal, I'd feel more sad.  So tomorrow morning it is!  I was thinking of doing it Sunday morning, but Bart and I are going out to play ultimate frisbee again with Melissa's team and it's a double-header!  I don't think my legs will hold up for both games if I went prancing around that same morning!

I can do this.  I've come so far, I can go farther!

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