Monday, July 5, 2010

Learning Curves

If there's anything to do while running, it's definitely thinking.  Lots and lots of thinking and on this subject of learning curves, I'm learning that sometimes, inside my head is a dangerous place to be. 

I guess that sounds more dramatic than it really is, but dangerous for me as in my mind seems to be the most unhealthiest place for me when I run - especially when I'm alone. 

I guess this may be taken for my melancholy post.  It's long overdue, but then again, that's what running gets you. Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts.

I know we all read and see instances where the mind can overcome many things.  Monks and meditation and more recent or closer to home, the placebo effect.  Two groups of people, two groups of drugs, nobody knows which they take but they're all told that the pill will do a certain thing.  Armed with this knowledge, more people than not claim that whatever they were told the pill would do did exactly that, but the funny thing, only half the people were given the actual drug and the rest were sugar pills.  So how is it that more than half the people said they felt what the drug was supposed to do?  There goes that whole power of the mind thing again...

Anywho, I believe I do have a point...sort of.  There's all these instances where the mind can be a positive force and the whole point of my diatribe here is that while I was running today, I realized that maybe my mind is not there yet.  It's so easy for me to convince myself that I feel tired, or my legs hurt or I don't really have to keep going, if I stop, nobody's really going to know.  I'm proud to say that I haven't actually said, "Okay, voices in my head, you're SO right!" But I'm not proud to say that I've gotten close - again, it's only my mind convincing me otherwise that I'm able to finish the run, but I'm left wondering what if some day - Week 4, Day 2, Week 5, Day 3 or whenever, I finally decide to listen to what my mind is saying to me?  What if I stop?  Give up?  Aaaargh, wha, wha, wha, would I like some cheese with my whine? *LOL*

I guess it all started when during the first five minute run, I started thinking thoughts.  First my mind zeroed in on my heels.  I was like, "man do they hurt."  Just a random thought.  So I kept running.  But then my mind wouldn't leave it alone:

Mind: Ouch, ouch, ouchy heels!

Me: Shut up, they don't hurt.

Mind: Ooow, they really hurt now.  It's starting to feel way worse! Must be those heel spurs!  Yeah, heel spurs!

Me: No it's not. They didn't hurt on the first three minutes.

Mind: But they hurt now! We forgot to take our anti-inflammatory pills!  We could be doing way more damage!  And so soon after your fall.  What about your ankle?!

Me: ankle does seem to hurt a little now...

Mind: Ooooow, my ankle!  It hurts so bad! My ankle AND my heels!  We should totally stop!

Me: You're probably right.  It definitely hurts now, I totally feel it.  It will probably get worse the more I keep going.  Then maybe I won't even be able to run at all after!

And so on and so on...bah.

I don't really know what I"m really getting at. Just thoughts.  Random thoughts. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts...these ones just stayed with me long after the run was over.

But I finished Week 4, Day 1.  Yay me! *three fist pumps!*

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