Monday, June 14, 2010

Spots and Bright Lights

O.
M.
G.

It's been an hour and a half since we got back from our run and it's only just now that I can feel like I can breathe without chest pains or keeling over and pretty much passing out.  If I were some kind of torturer person for the government or some shady group, I would TOTALLY use running as a complete form of punishment.  Much like the Chinese water torture, where you think to yourself that it can't be that bad, I will TOTALLY put anybody I'm torturing on a continuous loop of the first week of the Couch to 5K.

What's even worse is that just when I'm seeing an alternation of bright lights and black spots in front of my eyes and all light-headed, that dillhole on the MP3 track is just saying that I shouldn't be feeling tired or out of breath and I'm like, WHAT?!  Well, I guess I'm almost not feeling tired and out of breath...I'm almost passed out and faceplanted directly in the middle of the sidewalk.

Ugh. Confession: I didn't even finish the whole thing.  Week one is supposed to be a five minute warm up walk and then twenty minutes of alternating 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking and then a last five minute cool down walk.  I didn't do the last 60 seconds of jogging and instead just did more brisk walking.

 I felt like such a cop-out but I don't think there was any way I was getting my legs to pick up their pace again.  I only lasted as long as I did because of Tara.  Not that she egged me on in any way or anything, but just seeing that she was still going really made me want to push too, but she was SO nice about me quitting that last 60 second jog.  Excellent running buddy for sure!  I thought she'd be meaner and try to push me more!  Who knows, probably since today was the first one and we didn't know what to expect, but I doubt she'll go that easy on me for future.  I'm promising myself that I will do the WHOLE thing on Wednesday and Friday.  I feel like if it was only just ONE more minute, I should have been able to push it and finish it...but ah well!  We finished it and ended up being where we normally are halfway through our walk, so we made a LOT of time, plus because we had so much time, we extended our running streets and went even FURTHER!  The last 15 minutes of the walk, we still kept up the pace (my HRM was telling me my BPM at the end of the walk was at 170 BPMs) so we didn't slack!

There was sweat dripping and running into both my eyes, I couldn't tell if I was crying from the sweat stinging my eyeballs or if it was just regular tears running down my face.  I know I'm feeling okay now, but it was SO HARD!  I'm looking ahead at the weeks to come and I'm feeling that sweat stinging my eyes again - oh, who am I kidding, I'm feeling like I want to start crying!

BUT. But. There is a little upside story to this.  My HRM wasn't able to catch me BPMs in the middle of the run (my fingers were SO sweaty and I know my heart rate was completely erratic) so it was only calculating stuff based on our earlier BPM check of 140, so I'm thinking the calories I actually burned was WAY higher than the 391 it said I burned at the end of the 45 minute walk!  But anywho, I put those figures into my exercise log and I now have 931 calories to use for my afternoon snack and dinner!  YAY!  So now I'm just trying to figure out what we should have for dinner.  We definitely have to a do a grocery run, so I might have to get creative or it might be a bad dinner! 

Anywho, I was playing around with some of the tools over at MFP and came across their BMI tool.  I know it's not really the be all and end all, but this is definitely something to think about:



*wince* Yup...there's my little arrow at OBESE.  It's not that it really surprises me, but ay carumba!  Ah well...that's the starting off-point.  It doesn't matter that I quit before, I know I can do it and I have more of a support system and I don't have a short-term goal to work towards so I can just quit after, so hopefully I'll be able to see this thing through and have it so that I really LIKE to exercise and eat more healthily and not make it feel like this is SUCH a HARD thing to do!  We'll see, that or I may have less friends later when I totally freak out on my support system! *LOL*  What I learned though that I saw someone write on the MFP site is that hating myself won't help me lose weight and that's definitely what I'm trying to work towards.  I'm looking at the chart and seeing it for what it is.  It's the truth.  So I'm not trying to do what I used to do before or what other people have tried to do to inspire me to lose weight.  I'm not going to try to hate myself or be disgusted with myself and hope that those feelings are enough to motivate me into losing weight.  It hasn't been working so just seeing that really made me think, YEAH! That's totally true...so, I'm not putting anything up here to make myself feel bad or embarrassed so that I try harder.  It is what it is.  I'm just going to say that next time I post that chart up there, the numbers will be less!

Anywho, I've got some stretching to do this evening and - oh!  I've also got a doctor's appointment on Thursday.  I've been having this heel pain thing happening for quite some time now (nearing or over a year...) and I Googled it (yes, I can TOTALLY see my doctor rolling his eyes right now) and I think I may have something called plantar fasciitis.  I read some of the symptoms and it definitely sounds like me!  But anywho, what do I know, it could also be heel spurs, or something else altogether, but hopefully, my doctor will be able to tell me and we'll see where that goes!  If I'm really planning on seeing this C25K to the end, I'll definitely be needing to do something about that!

Tara just came out here and said that after we finish this, we could get into cycling and swimming and do a triathlon.

*cries*

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