Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Dazed and Confused...

If I could do one destructive thing, I would take a baseball bat to a treadmill.  I am *SO* angry with treadmills right now, it's not even funny.  Treadmills and I are on the outs - just like me and Mother Nature.  I was and still really am beyond dazed and confused, I'm befuddled...confuddled (I'm aware this is not entirely a word), just in shock. 

After riding the high of feeling all accomplished and athletic from my surprise gym visit and my successful preview of C25K's week three, although I conceded that treadmills make for easier runs, I was still thinking that at least I was a bit prepared for our run on Monday.

Oh how I *SO* wasn't prepared to have my ass kicked by week three.  Tara's saying when we finish a run is that we kicked asphalt, to me, it felt more like I gently nudged it with my little toe and it turned around and drop kicked me.  After the run, I was joking that while Tara was looking to see if it was safe to cross the road, I was looking for a car to jump in front of, because if I got hit by a car, I could at least stop running - maybe catch my breath.  It was BY FAR, the most difficult run ever. EVER.  It was ridonculous!  I'm still in shock how difficult it was.

Near the end, I had to send Tara ahead.  I swear I didn't quit or stop (although I entertained the thought which is what probably kept me going) but I was pretty much jogging at the speed of a turtle walking backwards.  In a way that was like childbirth, you know where the peeps tell you to breathe and to focus on something, I was focused on noise of my breathing.  Tara said it's pretty much how she knew I was still behind her.  As long as she could hear me huffing and puffing away, I was still behind her - and alive. *LOL*  Imagine Steffi Graph running around looking like a complete shit show - complete with the tennis sounds.  That was me dragging my ass down the sidewalk.  It didn't help that while I was focused on huffing and puffing, I ended up sucking back a wad of my own spit and practically choked myself with breath that I didn't even have to spare!  I didn't even have time to see spots in front of my eyes, I could have pretty much went straight to unconsciousness.

Anywho!  That's the dramatic moment of my run on Monday.  It was a complete shock that I was nowhere near prepared to make that run and I think it made it worse that I thought I knew what I was in for but had nooo idea. 

More bad news, I think I've been fighting coming down with a cold for the past couple days.  I felt like I was getting a sore throat on Sunday evening and it was definite yesterday and I'm now popping Cold FX and DanActives like they're water hoping that I'll feel okay enough to run.  As much as I would *LOVE* to quit, I know that if I call in sick and don't make the run, I don't think I'll be getting back into my running shoes. Ever.  I HAVE to.  I don't care how much of a crap show I am tomorrow, I just have to be out there!

You know when you watch those weight-loss shows, ie. The Biggest Loser and you see the trainers yelling at the people trying to lose weight and telling them to dig deep and they're all crying saying they can't do it, they can't do it and you're sitting there watching and rolling your eyes telling the TV if you were there, you'd totally be awesome.  Yeah, it has just been proven to me that I barely had enough to dig deep.  I dug shallow and although I finished the run, it was awful.

Now I'm sitting here feeling parts of my body I didn't know had sensory nerves and muscles in my butt that I didn't know existed and all I'm doing is sitting here.

So if you haven't noticed, this entire post is pretty much a big whining session.  I want to whine about my run, I want to complain about stupid C25K and how much I hate the program, the guy who's talking on it, I hate the sidewalk, I hate that damn hill and the whole damn run and I hate that it was my stupid idea and I'm mad at me because I don't know when to keep my mouth shut and if I hadn't talked about it, I wouldn't be suffering it right now and be extremely scared for tomorrow's lunch hour to come. *breathes* Thank goodness I'm typing because I need to save all my breath.

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore and if there was really a point to this post besides complaining! *LOL*  Hopefully I'll be able to get to sleep early and wake up feeling great tomorrow....

Oh, note to self, I should try to pick a fight with someone before my run tomorrow.  I found out today that rage can power a lot of things.  I got so pissed off today that I felt like I could have run circles around week three.  The rage is long gone now, so I'm back to fearing the sidewalk...

Wish me luck tomorrow!

P.S. CONFESSION: I totally caved and ate a huge bowl of spaghetti this evening.

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